Kafka on the Shore #32

This is an excerpt from the Washington Post:

On one level, the novel is about a 15-year-old boy's rite of passage into the adult world, but on a larger level it's a meditation on Plato's notion (voiced in the "Symposium," as Oshima explains to both Kafka and the reader) that each of us is looking for a soul mate to complete us. Hoshino finds one in Nakata, who reminds him of a dim-witted but devoted disciple of the Buddha, but who also fills in for a beloved grandfather. Kafka finds one in Miss Saeki, who appears to him in dreams both as the 15-year-old girl she once was and at her present age. And though Kafka and Nakata never meet, their parallel actions complement each other on a metaphysical plane. Hermaphroditic Oshima -- the most self-possessed and knowledgeable character in the novel -- exemplifies the original state that Plato said the soul enjoyed before it was split into halves.

Senior Project #1

Time spent: 2 hours
Total time: 2 hours

I was doing some research about places where I could volunteer. My top areas of interest are the following:

• Self-harm 
• Depression
• Substance abuse

I don't really have a lot of choices that I want to do. I wanted to do those things because they are really important to me... I mean that I feel really strongly about those topics because I have experienced the effects of those social issues through the people around me and in my life. So, the thing I want to do the most is to help these people. To make a difference.

My favorite inspirational organization is To Write Love On Her Arms. I would volunteer there, but unfortunately, they are not located in California and the intern application process is very competitive. When I found this out, I decided to search for other volunteer opportunities.

At first, I wanted to volunteer for a crisis hotline. Sadly, the age limit was 20 and they wouldn't consider me. Maybe I can try again sometime in the future.

My next choice was to speak to and help people with cancer. A kind of therapy/support group. This time, the age limit was 18 and I'm only 17, so I couldn't do that.

Finally, some non-profit groups responded to me and one of them fit what I wanted to do. The Asian American Recovery Services. They focus mainly on substance abuse. One of their locations is just down the street from El Camino. I'm going to go there on Thursday for an interview. Hopefully, everything will work out and I will get it approved for my Senior Project.

Kafka on the Shore #31

I know this is past the due date, but I just felt like blogging.

Preparing for finals:

I learned a bit about Haruki Murakami after doing some research. He had a lot of Western influences while growing up. That's why his stories are so full of them.

Miss Saeki and Nakata are not complete. For example, Nakata's shadow is light and Miss Saeki seems to be stuck in her past. They are not fully there in the present. Is it because they left part of themselves when they entered the entrance stone? Does the entrance stone take them to the deepest parts of their hearts? If so, it makes sense as to why Miss Saeki didn't want Kafka to stay in the entrance stone. She didn't want him to make the same mistakes. Kafka needed to live life in the present instead of burrowing deeper into his past memories and regrets. She helped free him in that regard.

The quotes I chose are:

"The more you think about illusions, the more they'll swell up and take on the form. And no longer be an illusion."

This relates to the "with dreams comes responsibilities" thing. With Kafka's dreams. He kept thinking about the prophecy and escaping, but in doing so, he got closer to it. He could never escape his fate.

"We're caught up in a whirlpool, pulled beyond time. Somewhere, we were struck by lightning. But not the kind of lightning you can see or hear."

 Water. Time. Lightning. So many recurrent images. Kafka and Miss Saeki are sucked into the axis of time? So... I can't explain this quote very well, but it means so much to me. They are both lost in their memories, their past. Kafka can't forgive his mother. Miss Saeki is still that 15 year old who is very much in love with her boyfriend. Her life ended when her boyfriend died. They are in that entrance stone. Their labyrinth. The deepest parts of their hearts. They can't escape until they let go. The lightning? That's what opened the entrance stone in the first place.

Kafka on the Shore #30

My overall thoughts...

Based on the back of the book, I thought Nakata would eventually meet with Kafka. I thought they were their other halves. But that is not the case. They never even met. Kafka doesn't even know about Nakata.

This book left me feeling more confused than ever before. However, something at the end caught my attention and I feel okay about it. It's the thing about how you can't express it in words. Not even to yourself. So you don't even have to bother trying to put it into words. It's like I understand it, but at the same time, I can't put it into words. It's so...profound?

This book makes me feel sad. No answers. I still am not sure who everyone is. Where did their souls go. What is reality? Is Miss Saeki really Kafka's mother? Did she answer him or was she just going along with his "theory"? Who is Johnnie Walker? So many questions. I don't know if I feel like this book is complete. It makes sense though. It shouldn't give me answers to life. Just like it didn't give Kafka the answers to his life. I like that. I could read it again. In fact, I will probably read it again some day and feel completely different. It'll be a whole new experience. But until then, I will remain confused.

This book is now my second favorite book. After The Book Thief.

Kafka on the Shore #29

Chapter 45- Chapter 49:

 I don't get it. No OTHER thing. Not even Kafka himself is going to hurt him. THey are in his heart? I don't know. THe entrance stone takes you to the deepest part of you, right?
The guts metaphor refers to labyrinths. And it is disgusting.

A city in the forest? A town. A village. Whatever. But is Kafka still in this world? In reality? No. I don't think so. Wind ripples again. He is a butterfly? Reborn? Metamorphosis. New person. THE CHORDS.

It won't be that long. For the time being. Like in the beginning. The Boy Named Crow.

Train pulling into a station. LIke Kafka and Miss Saeki. Her death.

Did Kafka travel through time? 15 year old Miss Saeki is there. I'm confused. She doesn't need a name. Another library. No books. Far away.

Hoshino's quest. Learns about his life and realizes that it was pretty pointless. He can talk to cats now? Since when? Was it because he slept next to a stone?

Another chapter called The Boy Named Crow? Circles... Who is this strange man? Why can't Crow talk? He usually has so many things to say. This man... omg. Flutes. Souls. He's Johnnie Walker?! Didn't he get killed? It was Kafka's dad who got killed? Because Johnnie Walker is just a concept? Like Colonel Sanders? I don't know.
Johnnie Walker laughed when he died, too. In Limbo? So... the imagery is appalling but it drags me in, the way Crow is pecking and biting and pulling apart this man's face. Crow is an illusion? I don't understand this chapter at all.

No books. No time. Reminds me of Hitler and The Book Thief. There is this one story in The Book Thief called "The Word Shaker". It explains how Hitler used words as a weapon and created so much destruction. It's interesting how there are no words here. The complete opposite.

This world is so hard to understand. It's all about becoming truly yourself. But at the same time they are all seamlessly together. An individual but at the same time... not.

Young Miss Saeki wears light blue. Old wears navy blue. Why is the bee important? Entrance is closing soon?

"I want you to remember me. If you remember me, then I don't care if everybody else forgets."

I'm confused. Old Kafka=Kafka Tamura? Kafka was there? Reality? Wait she gave him the memory? She IS his mother? Up to us, I guess...wait. She IS his mother. Forgive her? Frozen part of his heart crumbles. This blood. What does it mean? That's kind of weird. To lick her blood?

I get it, I think. If you look back, you can't move forward.

Sounds reappear. Time moves again.

What is this thing that Hoshino has to kill? He can't let it through the entrance...It's such a disgusting monster. I don't get what it means. What does it symbolize? WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS?

Kafka is getting a ride back with Oshima's brother, Sada. There are crows on the sidelines. They do not fly. What does it mean? Sada knows about the soldiers... words can't express it.

Kafka. Quest. Never really thought about it. Coming of age? In a awy.

Little room where we store those memories. Private library=memories. Beautiful metaphor. We still don't know if Miss Saeki is his mother or not.

Sakura and Kafka shared a dream, yet they weren't really sharing a dream. She doesn't know he raped her? She was the crow trying to warn him. WEIRD.

"You finally fall asleep. And when you wake up, it's true. You are part of a brand-new world."

Sleep. Could be the soul traveling dream thing. OR it could be death. Because when they wake up. they really are in a new world. Somewhere else....wow.

Kafka on the Shore #28

Chapter 41- Chapter 44:

 No wind. Is that important? If only I knew what wind meant.

"The most dangerous creature here would have to be me. So maybe I'm just scared of my own shadow."

Nameless, faceless, somebody's dim past. FACELESS... Sounds important.
"Entrails being dragged out of the darkness". Like the labyrinth.

I think it's interesting how Kafka keeps track of the days by thinking about what Oshima and Miss Saeki are doing at the library. He isn't free. He can't escape them still.

"I hack another notch in a tree with my hatchet. The tree cries out silently, bleeding invisible blood."

Hollow. Labyrinth metaphor again. Forges on ahead. Not listening. Can't hear the wind. All alone int his maze.
Suicide to escape the curse? Why does he throw away the compass, hatchet, and spray paint? Feels lighter. Toss off everything from his old life. Lose his baggage. Symbolically getting rid of his burden. Hollow man. Empty. Soul is gone? Not with reality. Heading into the heart of the forest.

Opened entrance stone to return things to the right order...? Nakata knows he took the place of the 15 year old boy who SHOULD have been there. He's been hinting at this knowledge this whole time. Does Miss Saeki have an effect on it? Her responsibility? But...can she really be held responsible? Is she aware it is Kafka?

SHE KNOWS. Both Miss Saeki AND Nakata have half a shadow. They BOTH have to leave HERE? Hurts to hold onto memories, but never want to let them go. That reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That movie was sad. It was creepy and scary, too. For me, at least.

"That's true," Miss Saeki said. "It hurt more and more to hold on to them, but I never wanted to let them go, as long as I was alive. It was the only reason I had to go on living, the only thing that proved I was alive."

I like that quote. If it were me, I don't know what I would choose. Would I want to remember so much pain? To feel pain in order to feel alive? But if I forgot that one most hurtful experience, wouldn't it make life more enjoyable? Is that cheating yourself out of a true life experience? I do not know.

Nakata IS Colonel Sanders. I knew it. I think. A concept, right? He has NO memories, NO desire. Accepts everything. JUST LIKE COLONEL SANDERS.

Miss Saeki opened the stone to mess with fate. The way things should have happened. She was punished. Reminds me of the Greeks.

"Yes it was. The process of writing was important. Even though the finished product is completely meaningless."

She wants Nakata to burn her story so no on can read it? Was Nakata in that painting? He can feel the memories from Miss Saeki's hands? Circle was once again complete. What does all this mean?

So many symbols. The blue dress. The door. The two chords. Always summer. Gentle wind. Small white clouds. I don't understand. But the language is beautiful. This whole book is so beautiful. One of my favorites. No doubt about it.

I knew Miss Saeki died, but I dreaded the news. It made me feel eerie, sad, and empty. She filled Oshima's void, but he couldn't fill hers...

The forest is Kafka? Isn't that weird? Oshima had been hinting at that for the longest time.

I feel so sad. Kafka wants to know why his mother didn't love him. Waves=consciousness. Beautiful metaphor.

Oh. So Miss Saeki was talking about Kafka being on a branch? He is the crow on the branch. And when that branch fell, Kafka lost it. He broke down. Not her dying. I think.

You can only be saved if you forgive. Lifts your burden. And anger... Life lesson there.

"Why does loving somebody mean you have to hurt them just as much? I mean, if that's the way it goes, what's the point of loving someone? Why the hell does it have to be like that?"

If the forest is inside Kafka, why does he see the soldiers? What do they symbolize? They were waiting for him? Oh. They are guards of the entrance stone. It'll close up soon. Now is the time to go in. This gives me chills. Makes me sad. Empty. But I LOVE IT.

Kafka has no symbols. No identity? Just his memories. Total opposite of Nakata.

Wind, crows. Is wind Miss Saeki? Wait. IT COULD BE. She was the wind that broke Nakata's branch. He is the crow on the branch! The wind will scatter the remains. Crows go home?

"I don't know what was written in it, but it's all gone. A bit of shape and form has disappeared from the world, increasing the amount of nothingness."

"Can nothingness increase?"

"If something returns to nothing, it becomes zero, but even if you add zero to zero, it's still zero."

 Ugh. I was not expecting Nakata to die. I should have known because he told Miss Saeki that they had to go. "us". And I knew she was going to die. They both died peacefully. That makes me feel better about it.

Normal Nakata. Because when he"died" the first time, that's when he changed. So now he can go back?

It's not Hoshino's responsibility to close the entrance stone. But how will he know how to do it? It makes me so sad. Hoshino is such a loyal friend. I hope Nakata is reading in the world he is in now.

YES! I knew that lightning was the key! Colonel Sanders MIGHT appear because Nakata is out now. Like when he was sleeping. WAIT. He doesn't call because HE IS NAKATA. Like I've been saying this whole time! Nakata is gone so Colonel Sanders is gone!

"The silence grew deeper, so deep that if you listened carefully you might very well catch the sound of the earth revolving on its axis."

So silent. Earth revolving on its axis. Axis of time? 

Kafka on the Shore #27

Chapter 37- Chapter 40:

The forest is the same. But things should always change, right? Don't they? Clouds have become a part of Kafka. What do the clouds symbolize?

Oshima has gone back to being a woman when he is asleep. Dreams... travel through time. Axis of time. It's like when Miss Saeki goes back to her 15 year old self when she sleeps.

"This is pretty obvious, but until things happen, they haven't happened. And often things aren't what they seem." - Oshima.

Oshima has a different way of looking at love. Nobody can help you. It is a wonderful feeling, but you have to do it alone. Your mind and body have to bear it all. Alone. Always alone.

There is another parallel world in the forest. Is there an entrance stone-like thing in the forest? You can step in and come back out only if you are careful. But there is a point of no return. Like life and mistakes?

"Things outside you are projections of what's inside you, and what's inside you is a projection of what's outside. So when you step into the labyrinth outside you, at the same time, you're stepping into the labyrinth inside. Most definitely a risky business."

So many profound things in this book that I do not understand. However, they make me think about life. They make me think, "Oooh. Makes sense." or "Ooh. Sounds interesting. I agree."

There is another reference to wind carrying dust away. It makes me think about how life is short and not permanent. Things all around us die. Constantly. Like the wind constantly blowing. Then... a tree branch falls. Miss Saeki? When I read it, I thought she died. Or had some kind of break down. Like her world was falling apart.

Kafka is alone. In the woods. Thinking about Oshima and Miss Saeki at the library. I don't know the meaning behind this passage, but it seems important to me. It describes his loneliness and desires. He wants to be a crow and fly to her. It means something. I can feel it. I just don't know what it means.

Changes are happening. Hoshino likes classical music now.
About music, Nakata says, "Music doesn't other me. To me, it's like the wind." LIKE THE WIND?! I really want to know what this wind thing is about.

Note: SUMMER IS PASSION AND LOVE. ADULTHOOD AND ROMANCE AND FULFILLMENT.

Colonel Sanders stocked the house with navy blue polos. Navy blue again.

High walls. Like the people who build high walls to protect themselves. Hoshino and Nakata found the Komura Memorial Library. It's what Nakata has been searching for. "Chance. It's a scary thing, isn't it?"

Branches cover the sky. Crow caws... warning? Going back, path is misleading. Huge, black, butterfly... colder. Chillier. Shadows racing past. SO MUCH DARKNESS. Kafka forges on ahead. Despite the narrow path. It's like the labyrinth thing. He keeps going...point of no return.

A "dream" dream of that night with Sakura. "Tim's been rewound, setting me down at a turning point." Axis of time! Keeps drinking up water. Sponge? NO season. Branches again. Crow squawks. Can't see the bird or sky. She is asleep. Is it his soul visiting her? He's touching her, though. Crow warns him again? Is it like he is "flying" to visit Sakura?
Hollows of time? "In a hollow inside me." Eyes faceless being. Breaks out of its shell. What does it mean?

The prophecy. Raping Sakura, his "sister". Went into her dream without permission. But it is too late because he decided that it is? Now he understands what? Shell is gone? Dark shadow. Hands sticky with what appears to be blood. Reminds me of Lady Macbeth. Lost within time. Far too dark. Both inside and out. I don't understand the meaning of all of this.


The part where Hoshino reads about Beethoven really interests me. "...for all humans have physical and emotional limits, and by this time the composer had more than reached his."

"Smiling, Miss Saeki nodded. 'You're quite right, it does. No matter how much money you accumulate, you can't buy time.'"

She's like an empty shell. She's physically there, but her soul, her essence, is elsewhere. Not with reality. Nakata wants to talk about the entrance stone with Miss Saeki. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. Nakata is so unpredictable sometimes.

Kafka on the Shore #26

Chapter 35- Chapter 36:

Oshima is wearing navy blue converse. Kafka wears a navy blue cap and blue sunglasses. Maybe... only those who are not connected to reality wear blue?

How come Nakata and Kafka both did the same things at the same time? Same direction. Went to Takamatsu. Were they drawn to the entrance stone? Or other half?

Oshima somehow knows that Kafka is sleeping with Miss Saeki. But she's dying. Lost the will to live. Like the presidents or people in history who lost the will to live. It reminds me of that stuff.

"It's just that very quietly, very steadily, she's heading toward death. Or else death is heading toward her."

"Like a train heading towards the station?" Kafka is the train...He is bringing about her death. Why? I don't get it. The dreams and responsibilities thing again.

Then this wind metaphor that I don't understand. "Our lives are just shadows of that guiding principle." Our life? Our souls? JUST LISTEN. I don't get it.

Colonel Sanders is just a concept. He can make Hoshino's phone ring without it being on or knowing his number. I don't really understand what he is though. A concept?

The entrance stone flipped over and opened when lightning was flashing. I think lightning is the key. But Hoshino has to close it later? "Things that are open have to be shut." Reminds me of Miss Saeki and her door.

I like the language used when Hoshino "roused him to the land of the living".

So just like that, the stone is no longer heavy? WHY?

Wow. I just had a crazy idea. Nakata sounds just like Colonel Sanders. CS knows what Nakata knows. He only shows up when Nakata is sleeping. Are they the same person? Is he the other half of Nakata's shadow? The one he lost when he was a young boy in whatever prefecture he used to live in?!

"You wouldn't feel so calm if there was a 7-Eleven over there, or a Seiyu department store, would you? Or a pachinko place over there, or a Yoshikawa pawnshop? But as far as the eye can see there's nothing- which is pretty darn nice."

What happened because the entrance stone opened up? What changed? "Waiting for it to finish happening."

Kafka on the Shore #25

Chapter 34:

A crow... Since it rained, is the world a new place?

"But the more he thought about himself, the less reality his existence seemed to have. He began to feel like some meaningless appendage sitting there."

 The thing about geniuses. And how not everyone should be one. It makes sense to. Not everyone can be a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Some people have to do other things like work at Safeway... Like econ!

"Living turned me into nothing." Weird. This emptiness. I feel it too, sometimes. When there is no goal or purpose in life, you start to feel empty. This book makes me think so much about life. Sometimes I stop reading and reread the same passage over and over again because I don't understand what it is saying. But all I end up with are more questions and no answers. Oh well.

Hoshino is going to follow Nakata though. Did he find his purpose? I think Hoshino is on a quest, too.
Quester: Hoshino.
Destination: Takamatsu
Reason: Help Nakata find this entrance stone.
Obstacles: Colonel Sanders, morals, job.
Real reason: Learned about who he is, about his life, to live again.

Kafka on the Shore #24

Chapter 33:

Remember: If they have sex, it's not about sex. So what is it about? Is Miss Saeki his mother? Then Oedipus. Consumed by fate? can't escape? Not free? Don't want to be free? If you're free, are you alone? People prefer to not be free?

This book is like life. It makes me ask so many questions but I don't get a lot of answers. I just don't understand it too well.

"The people who build high, strong fences are the ones who survive the best. You deny that reality only at the risk of being driven into the wilderness yourself."

It's interesting how Miss Saeki wrote a book about people being struck by lightning and how Nakata can predict it. Are these things related? I mean... do they mean something?

Flow of water. Powerful. "Make up for lost time in order to keep on living." Is Kafka on the Shore (Old Kafka) Kafka Tamura's other half?
Shore and Crow. Lover and her son?

It's no longer first person. Kafka is talking about himself, yet he is someone else. Is it Kafka on the Shore or Kafka Tamura having sex with Miss Saeki? Or both?

Kafka on the Shore #23

Chapter 32:

Nakata is predicting lightning again. The cat doesn't understand him. He is taking his time. So much talk about time. Time.

The stone reminds me of the Holy Grail but it's not that.

Rain=catharsis? But they are not getting wet. So, the world around them is changing? But they are not?

Nakata- empty inside. like a shell with no essence. The half a shadow thing again. Who is his "other half"? Needs to deal with the Johnnie Walker situation.
Then he left and came back? Empty. Anyone can come in. He is empty. So he can be taken over like when he stabbed Johnnie Walker. He isn't in control. Johnnie Walker made him do these things? Did Nakata kill the cats? Did his soul kill the cats? "He made me shed blood." But the blood didn't stick to his hands. Not very like Lady Macbeth at all. I wish I knew more about that story. But I do not...

"We had to cross a big bridge. It wouldn't have worked in Nakano Ward." So is this a bridge connecting dreams and reality?

How come the stone can no longer be moved? Hoshino moved it a first despite Nakata saying only he can move it. But now it's like they have to open the entrance stone there or they won't be able to move it.

Nakata claims to not know what to do. But at the same time he tells Hoshino that he has to flip it over. Then the entrance opened up. IF HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING, WHY DOES HE END UP DOING THE RIGHT THINGS? "It better have opened up. Otherwise I killed myself for nothing."

Kafka on the Shore #22

Chapter 31:

Clouds. Birds are quiet. Miss Saeki isn't wearing blue today. "Can't choose where you're born, but where you die you can- to some degree."

This is so weird. Why would Kafka tell Miss Saeki that he wants to sleep with her? Why would he ask her to sleep with him if he thinks she is his mother? The age difference is so strange.

"Close the door when you leave." Metaphorical meaning? Like the door to the room that used to be open. She is telling him to close that door into her dream world when he leaves? The Kafka then that she loved and the Kafka Tamura who is standing in front of her now. Maybe she is telling Old Kafka to close that door when he leaves. When he died. Will he ever leave her spiritual world? Is he even there still? Are the Kafkas the same?

"In the eye of the storm." so chaos is all around them?

Oshima feels sad "when the moon turns blue, when birds fly south."

"A fond, old, faraway room." Like what Miss Saeki said about the two chords. The door is closed now...

Why does Kafka repeat exactly what Oshima said about the Spanish Civil War? What does it mean?

"I put my arm around her. You put your arm around her. "

Old Kafka took over Kafka Tamura?

Hollow of time. Volcanic lake metaphor again. This time he hears the engine.

"Far away a crow caws." Crows... seem important. They remind me of Edgar Allen Poe. Dark. Black. Reminds me of death. Loneliness. I don't really know what they symbolize though.

Kafka on the Shore #21

Chapter 30:

Why Colonel Sanders? He has no name or shape. Interesting. So Johnnie Walker is the name of an alcoholic beverage. I think he symbolizes delusion and sluggishness. Or delayed actions. Colonel Sanders. KFC/fast food. Symbolizing consumption? Or capitalism? Or indulgence? "Consummate the function I've been given to perform." What does that mean?
He is not a person. He makes sure time stays in order. Needs substance to perform an action. He is trading sex for substance?
He has a different way of perceiving religion. "What is God?" Like a referee? I like the example about how MacArthur came to Japan and made the divine emperor say that he isn't God and then that was that. "God only exists in people's minds."

"Listen, every object's in flux. The Earth, time, concepts, love, life, faith, justice, evil- they're all fluid and in transition. They don't stay in one form or in one place forever. The whole universe is like some big FedEx box."

Is that like how our morals don't stay the same? Like how it used to be okay to have slaves but now our society shuns that.

"What Chekhov was getting at is this: necessity is an independent concept. It has a different structure from logic, morals, or meaning. Its function lies entirely in the role it plays. What doesn't play a role shouldn't exist. What necessity requires does need to exist."

I don't understand it that much, but it seems important. 

The stone is like Chekhov's pistol. It will have a role depending on the situation? It is important. But not holy or sacred. I don't really get it.

Navy blue cloth.

The stone is very heavy. Like a burden?

Kafka on the Shore #20

Chapter 28- Chapter 29:

Why is "doing the deed" important?

"The pure present i an ungraspable advance of the past devouring the future. In truth, all sensation is already memory."

I think it's unexpected how the prostitute is educated. I don't understand a lot of the philosophical things that she talks about. It is mostly about the self and identity. I don't understand it at all. 

Is Sakura Kafka's connection to reality? Miss Saeki is in a dream world. And is Oshima really connected to reality? I don't know.

"You know, when kids your age fall in love they tend to get a little spacey, so if the person you're in love with isn't connected to reality, that's a major problem."

This next part made me feel so scared. I was reading this late at night in the dark... It is the part about how Kafka realizes that the ghost girl isn't the same girl and his heart is pounding and the "silhouette in the chair starts to move, slowly changing its angle like some massive ship changing course. She takes her head out of her hands and turns in my direction."  First, it reminds me of horror movies. I mean, she TAKES HER HEAD OUT OF HER HANDS. That wording is creepy. And she looks straight at him when his heart is pounding. There is so much suspense. But... it is just the present Miss Saeki.

What is this axis of time? Reality and dreams are all mixed up. Just like Johnnie Walker and Kafka's dad. I'm still not sure if they are the same person or not. Navy blue again.

This is weird. Kafka is in reality but sees Miss Saeki in her dream self. She thinks he is her boyfriend? "sucked into a time warp". The boy named Crow is back. Does he represent Kafka's desires and fantasies? Or does he voice his inner most thoughts? The words he can't come up with by himself? Why? There is the whole thing about dreams and responsibilities again. Delicate and dangerous.

And the thing about where his seed goes.... To me, that has double meaning. Like where his "seed" as in sperm goes. Or his fantasies. His dreams. His thoughts... that seed. Yes.

"The wind blows clouds over, then scatters them away. The branches of the dogwood quiver, and countless knives flash in the darkness. The window is my heart's window, the door my soul's door. I lie there awake until dawn, gazing at the empty chair."

Kafka on the Shore #19

Chapter 27:

Kafka never seems to see the ghost girl the moment she appears. TRIANGLE. Like the 3D world thing. "One side of the triangle collapses". That's like how the boundary between their worlds is breaking down. She notices him in a way.

Violent incidents. Not acting like himself. Doesn't know that he does it. Then the boy named Crow. Is he the other spirit/half?

Oshima is wearing navy blue chinos.

I think it's interesting how Oshima and Kafka are talking about how bodies are containers. I usually think of the body and soul as one, making up who you are. I don't really like thinking about that, but it makes sense. That's why their souls can leave in the first place. Then the thing about how it's easier to think about it in reverse. So that the outer is the essence and the essence is the shell. It's difficult.

All that blood. Lady Macbeth?

I think the bird metaphor is interesting too. Is Miss Saeki on a branch right now? Shifting her head... I don't know.

"But you know, she's right. Every single day, each time I see her face, see her, it's utterly precious."

The boundary between 15 year old Miss Saeki and the 50-something year old Miss Saeki has started to waver, to fade... Like the branch and the tree. Is it because he said her name that the triangle fell?

Kafka on the Shore #18

Chapter 26:

"Dead for three weeks once." How do you even come back? Is Nakata talking about his coma?

Floating minds...

So Nakata has known about this entrance stone for a while and only he can move it. Isn't that weird. Does Miss Saeki know about it too? Have their souls met?

QUEST!
- Quester: Nakata
- Destination: Takamatsu
- Reason: Find the entrance stone.
- Challenges and trials: Doesn't know what it looks like. Don't know where it is.
- Real reason: I don't know. Self knowledge?

It's weird how Nakata can predict the thunder. He can make it thunder? Reminds me of "Man doesn't choose fate. Fate chooses man" thing.

Colonel Sanders. First thought: KFC?! Second thought: White=purity. Third thought: Is it Johnnie Walker? Oh. No it isn't.
Why is Colonel Sanders a pimp? A warp? What warp? 3D...Triangle?
This weird Colonel Sanders pimp knows that Hoshino is looking for the entrance stone. How does he know? "written all over your face." He apparently knows what it is, too. But why does Hoshino have to have sex with a prostitute before Colonel Sanders will tell him where the stone is? Weird trade-off.

Kafka on the Shore #17

Chapter 25:

There's the "Out of the blue" comment again. I don't know if it matters.

The ghost is Miss Saeki's long, deep dream? How come she can hear Kafka's heart? He can see her but she can't see him. They are "divided by an invisible boundary." Both in love with someone who is no longer of this world. Who does Kafka love?

The birds make noise, waking Kafka up. So they are freeing him from the dream world?

So... Kafka is in love with Miss Saeki. But she is a "living spirit"? In a way? Not in a evil way, though. And she loves a dead boy. Kafka is caught up in their spiritual world and feels so jealous.

About Miss Saeki... Oshima says, "She captured words in a dream, like delicately catching hold of a butterfly's wings as it flutters around." Miss Saeki wrote Kafka on the Shore based on her dream? In a spiritual world?

If Miss Saeki is Kafka's mother. Is it a connection or coincidence or fate that Kafka chose his name to be Kafka? In love with his mother= OEDIPUS.

Why is Kafka legally an illegitimate child? Oxymoronic!

There is so much talk about shadows.

Miss Saeki is always wearing blue or something like that. What does blue mean? Why don't I ever know?

"Entrance that would take me to that other world." Is that what Nakata is looking for? Is Miss Saeki talking about this entrance stone?

What does the lightning mean? A book about lightning? Never concluded. Interesting. That makes me think about how we ask an endless amount of questions about life, yet we never really get complete answers. Just more questions. But that's just how it is.

Something knocking on a door in Kafka's head. What does that mean?


Kafka's father was struck by lightning. And Miss Saeki wrote a book about lightning. Interviewing people. Could she really be Kafka's mom? Does lightning have to do with the entrance stone? Does it open it up? Or...what?