Kafka on the Shore #32

This is an excerpt from the Washington Post:

On one level, the novel is about a 15-year-old boy's rite of passage into the adult world, but on a larger level it's a meditation on Plato's notion (voiced in the "Symposium," as Oshima explains to both Kafka and the reader) that each of us is looking for a soul mate to complete us. Hoshino finds one in Nakata, who reminds him of a dim-witted but devoted disciple of the Buddha, but who also fills in for a beloved grandfather. Kafka finds one in Miss Saeki, who appears to him in dreams both as the 15-year-old girl she once was and at her present age. And though Kafka and Nakata never meet, their parallel actions complement each other on a metaphysical plane. Hermaphroditic Oshima -- the most self-possessed and knowledgeable character in the novel -- exemplifies the original state that Plato said the soul enjoyed before it was split into halves.

Senior Project #1

Time spent: 2 hours
Total time: 2 hours

I was doing some research about places where I could volunteer. My top areas of interest are the following:

• Self-harm 
• Depression
• Substance abuse

I don't really have a lot of choices that I want to do. I wanted to do those things because they are really important to me... I mean that I feel really strongly about those topics because I have experienced the effects of those social issues through the people around me and in my life. So, the thing I want to do the most is to help these people. To make a difference.

My favorite inspirational organization is To Write Love On Her Arms. I would volunteer there, but unfortunately, they are not located in California and the intern application process is very competitive. When I found this out, I decided to search for other volunteer opportunities.

At first, I wanted to volunteer for a crisis hotline. Sadly, the age limit was 20 and they wouldn't consider me. Maybe I can try again sometime in the future.

My next choice was to speak to and help people with cancer. A kind of therapy/support group. This time, the age limit was 18 and I'm only 17, so I couldn't do that.

Finally, some non-profit groups responded to me and one of them fit what I wanted to do. The Asian American Recovery Services. They focus mainly on substance abuse. One of their locations is just down the street from El Camino. I'm going to go there on Thursday for an interview. Hopefully, everything will work out and I will get it approved for my Senior Project.

Kafka on the Shore #31

I know this is past the due date, but I just felt like blogging.

Preparing for finals:

I learned a bit about Haruki Murakami after doing some research. He had a lot of Western influences while growing up. That's why his stories are so full of them.

Miss Saeki and Nakata are not complete. For example, Nakata's shadow is light and Miss Saeki seems to be stuck in her past. They are not fully there in the present. Is it because they left part of themselves when they entered the entrance stone? Does the entrance stone take them to the deepest parts of their hearts? If so, it makes sense as to why Miss Saeki didn't want Kafka to stay in the entrance stone. She didn't want him to make the same mistakes. Kafka needed to live life in the present instead of burrowing deeper into his past memories and regrets. She helped free him in that regard.

The quotes I chose are:

"The more you think about illusions, the more they'll swell up and take on the form. And no longer be an illusion."

This relates to the "with dreams comes responsibilities" thing. With Kafka's dreams. He kept thinking about the prophecy and escaping, but in doing so, he got closer to it. He could never escape his fate.

"We're caught up in a whirlpool, pulled beyond time. Somewhere, we were struck by lightning. But not the kind of lightning you can see or hear."

 Water. Time. Lightning. So many recurrent images. Kafka and Miss Saeki are sucked into the axis of time? So... I can't explain this quote very well, but it means so much to me. They are both lost in their memories, their past. Kafka can't forgive his mother. Miss Saeki is still that 15 year old who is very much in love with her boyfriend. Her life ended when her boyfriend died. They are in that entrance stone. Their labyrinth. The deepest parts of their hearts. They can't escape until they let go. The lightning? That's what opened the entrance stone in the first place.

Kafka on the Shore #30

My overall thoughts...

Based on the back of the book, I thought Nakata would eventually meet with Kafka. I thought they were their other halves. But that is not the case. They never even met. Kafka doesn't even know about Nakata.

This book left me feeling more confused than ever before. However, something at the end caught my attention and I feel okay about it. It's the thing about how you can't express it in words. Not even to yourself. So you don't even have to bother trying to put it into words. It's like I understand it, but at the same time, I can't put it into words. It's so...profound?

This book makes me feel sad. No answers. I still am not sure who everyone is. Where did their souls go. What is reality? Is Miss Saeki really Kafka's mother? Did she answer him or was she just going along with his "theory"? Who is Johnnie Walker? So many questions. I don't know if I feel like this book is complete. It makes sense though. It shouldn't give me answers to life. Just like it didn't give Kafka the answers to his life. I like that. I could read it again. In fact, I will probably read it again some day and feel completely different. It'll be a whole new experience. But until then, I will remain confused.

This book is now my second favorite book. After The Book Thief.

Kafka on the Shore #29

Chapter 45- Chapter 49:

 I don't get it. No OTHER thing. Not even Kafka himself is going to hurt him. THey are in his heart? I don't know. THe entrance stone takes you to the deepest part of you, right?
The guts metaphor refers to labyrinths. And it is disgusting.

A city in the forest? A town. A village. Whatever. But is Kafka still in this world? In reality? No. I don't think so. Wind ripples again. He is a butterfly? Reborn? Metamorphosis. New person. THE CHORDS.

It won't be that long. For the time being. Like in the beginning. The Boy Named Crow.

Train pulling into a station. LIke Kafka and Miss Saeki. Her death.

Did Kafka travel through time? 15 year old Miss Saeki is there. I'm confused. She doesn't need a name. Another library. No books. Far away.

Hoshino's quest. Learns about his life and realizes that it was pretty pointless. He can talk to cats now? Since when? Was it because he slept next to a stone?

Another chapter called The Boy Named Crow? Circles... Who is this strange man? Why can't Crow talk? He usually has so many things to say. This man... omg. Flutes. Souls. He's Johnnie Walker?! Didn't he get killed? It was Kafka's dad who got killed? Because Johnnie Walker is just a concept? Like Colonel Sanders? I don't know.
Johnnie Walker laughed when he died, too. In Limbo? So... the imagery is appalling but it drags me in, the way Crow is pecking and biting and pulling apart this man's face. Crow is an illusion? I don't understand this chapter at all.

No books. No time. Reminds me of Hitler and The Book Thief. There is this one story in The Book Thief called "The Word Shaker". It explains how Hitler used words as a weapon and created so much destruction. It's interesting how there are no words here. The complete opposite.

This world is so hard to understand. It's all about becoming truly yourself. But at the same time they are all seamlessly together. An individual but at the same time... not.

Young Miss Saeki wears light blue. Old wears navy blue. Why is the bee important? Entrance is closing soon?

"I want you to remember me. If you remember me, then I don't care if everybody else forgets."

I'm confused. Old Kafka=Kafka Tamura? Kafka was there? Reality? Wait she gave him the memory? She IS his mother? Up to us, I guess...wait. She IS his mother. Forgive her? Frozen part of his heart crumbles. This blood. What does it mean? That's kind of weird. To lick her blood?

I get it, I think. If you look back, you can't move forward.

Sounds reappear. Time moves again.

What is this thing that Hoshino has to kill? He can't let it through the entrance...It's such a disgusting monster. I don't get what it means. What does it symbolize? WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS?

Kafka is getting a ride back with Oshima's brother, Sada. There are crows on the sidelines. They do not fly. What does it mean? Sada knows about the soldiers... words can't express it.

Kafka. Quest. Never really thought about it. Coming of age? In a awy.

Little room where we store those memories. Private library=memories. Beautiful metaphor. We still don't know if Miss Saeki is his mother or not.

Sakura and Kafka shared a dream, yet they weren't really sharing a dream. She doesn't know he raped her? She was the crow trying to warn him. WEIRD.

"You finally fall asleep. And when you wake up, it's true. You are part of a brand-new world."

Sleep. Could be the soul traveling dream thing. OR it could be death. Because when they wake up. they really are in a new world. Somewhere else....wow.

Kafka on the Shore #28

Chapter 41- Chapter 44:

 No wind. Is that important? If only I knew what wind meant.

"The most dangerous creature here would have to be me. So maybe I'm just scared of my own shadow."

Nameless, faceless, somebody's dim past. FACELESS... Sounds important.
"Entrails being dragged out of the darkness". Like the labyrinth.

I think it's interesting how Kafka keeps track of the days by thinking about what Oshima and Miss Saeki are doing at the library. He isn't free. He can't escape them still.

"I hack another notch in a tree with my hatchet. The tree cries out silently, bleeding invisible blood."

Hollow. Labyrinth metaphor again. Forges on ahead. Not listening. Can't hear the wind. All alone int his maze.
Suicide to escape the curse? Why does he throw away the compass, hatchet, and spray paint? Feels lighter. Toss off everything from his old life. Lose his baggage. Symbolically getting rid of his burden. Hollow man. Empty. Soul is gone? Not with reality. Heading into the heart of the forest.

Opened entrance stone to return things to the right order...? Nakata knows he took the place of the 15 year old boy who SHOULD have been there. He's been hinting at this knowledge this whole time. Does Miss Saeki have an effect on it? Her responsibility? But...can she really be held responsible? Is she aware it is Kafka?

SHE KNOWS. Both Miss Saeki AND Nakata have half a shadow. They BOTH have to leave HERE? Hurts to hold onto memories, but never want to let them go. That reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That movie was sad. It was creepy and scary, too. For me, at least.

"That's true," Miss Saeki said. "It hurt more and more to hold on to them, but I never wanted to let them go, as long as I was alive. It was the only reason I had to go on living, the only thing that proved I was alive."

I like that quote. If it were me, I don't know what I would choose. Would I want to remember so much pain? To feel pain in order to feel alive? But if I forgot that one most hurtful experience, wouldn't it make life more enjoyable? Is that cheating yourself out of a true life experience? I do not know.

Nakata IS Colonel Sanders. I knew it. I think. A concept, right? He has NO memories, NO desire. Accepts everything. JUST LIKE COLONEL SANDERS.

Miss Saeki opened the stone to mess with fate. The way things should have happened. She was punished. Reminds me of the Greeks.

"Yes it was. The process of writing was important. Even though the finished product is completely meaningless."

She wants Nakata to burn her story so no on can read it? Was Nakata in that painting? He can feel the memories from Miss Saeki's hands? Circle was once again complete. What does all this mean?

So many symbols. The blue dress. The door. The two chords. Always summer. Gentle wind. Small white clouds. I don't understand. But the language is beautiful. This whole book is so beautiful. One of my favorites. No doubt about it.

I knew Miss Saeki died, but I dreaded the news. It made me feel eerie, sad, and empty. She filled Oshima's void, but he couldn't fill hers...

The forest is Kafka? Isn't that weird? Oshima had been hinting at that for the longest time.

I feel so sad. Kafka wants to know why his mother didn't love him. Waves=consciousness. Beautiful metaphor.

Oh. So Miss Saeki was talking about Kafka being on a branch? He is the crow on the branch. And when that branch fell, Kafka lost it. He broke down. Not her dying. I think.

You can only be saved if you forgive. Lifts your burden. And anger... Life lesson there.

"Why does loving somebody mean you have to hurt them just as much? I mean, if that's the way it goes, what's the point of loving someone? Why the hell does it have to be like that?"

If the forest is inside Kafka, why does he see the soldiers? What do they symbolize? They were waiting for him? Oh. They are guards of the entrance stone. It'll close up soon. Now is the time to go in. This gives me chills. Makes me sad. Empty. But I LOVE IT.

Kafka has no symbols. No identity? Just his memories. Total opposite of Nakata.

Wind, crows. Is wind Miss Saeki? Wait. IT COULD BE. She was the wind that broke Nakata's branch. He is the crow on the branch! The wind will scatter the remains. Crows go home?

"I don't know what was written in it, but it's all gone. A bit of shape and form has disappeared from the world, increasing the amount of nothingness."

"Can nothingness increase?"

"If something returns to nothing, it becomes zero, but even if you add zero to zero, it's still zero."

 Ugh. I was not expecting Nakata to die. I should have known because he told Miss Saeki that they had to go. "us". And I knew she was going to die. They both died peacefully. That makes me feel better about it.

Normal Nakata. Because when he"died" the first time, that's when he changed. So now he can go back?

It's not Hoshino's responsibility to close the entrance stone. But how will he know how to do it? It makes me so sad. Hoshino is such a loyal friend. I hope Nakata is reading in the world he is in now.

YES! I knew that lightning was the key! Colonel Sanders MIGHT appear because Nakata is out now. Like when he was sleeping. WAIT. He doesn't call because HE IS NAKATA. Like I've been saying this whole time! Nakata is gone so Colonel Sanders is gone!

"The silence grew deeper, so deep that if you listened carefully you might very well catch the sound of the earth revolving on its axis."

So silent. Earth revolving on its axis. Axis of time? 

Kafka on the Shore #27

Chapter 37- Chapter 40:

The forest is the same. But things should always change, right? Don't they? Clouds have become a part of Kafka. What do the clouds symbolize?

Oshima has gone back to being a woman when he is asleep. Dreams... travel through time. Axis of time. It's like when Miss Saeki goes back to her 15 year old self when she sleeps.

"This is pretty obvious, but until things happen, they haven't happened. And often things aren't what they seem." - Oshima.

Oshima has a different way of looking at love. Nobody can help you. It is a wonderful feeling, but you have to do it alone. Your mind and body have to bear it all. Alone. Always alone.

There is another parallel world in the forest. Is there an entrance stone-like thing in the forest? You can step in and come back out only if you are careful. But there is a point of no return. Like life and mistakes?

"Things outside you are projections of what's inside you, and what's inside you is a projection of what's outside. So when you step into the labyrinth outside you, at the same time, you're stepping into the labyrinth inside. Most definitely a risky business."

So many profound things in this book that I do not understand. However, they make me think about life. They make me think, "Oooh. Makes sense." or "Ooh. Sounds interesting. I agree."

There is another reference to wind carrying dust away. It makes me think about how life is short and not permanent. Things all around us die. Constantly. Like the wind constantly blowing. Then... a tree branch falls. Miss Saeki? When I read it, I thought she died. Or had some kind of break down. Like her world was falling apart.

Kafka is alone. In the woods. Thinking about Oshima and Miss Saeki at the library. I don't know the meaning behind this passage, but it seems important to me. It describes his loneliness and desires. He wants to be a crow and fly to her. It means something. I can feel it. I just don't know what it means.

Changes are happening. Hoshino likes classical music now.
About music, Nakata says, "Music doesn't other me. To me, it's like the wind." LIKE THE WIND?! I really want to know what this wind thing is about.

Note: SUMMER IS PASSION AND LOVE. ADULTHOOD AND ROMANCE AND FULFILLMENT.

Colonel Sanders stocked the house with navy blue polos. Navy blue again.

High walls. Like the people who build high walls to protect themselves. Hoshino and Nakata found the Komura Memorial Library. It's what Nakata has been searching for. "Chance. It's a scary thing, isn't it?"

Branches cover the sky. Crow caws... warning? Going back, path is misleading. Huge, black, butterfly... colder. Chillier. Shadows racing past. SO MUCH DARKNESS. Kafka forges on ahead. Despite the narrow path. It's like the labyrinth thing. He keeps going...point of no return.

A "dream" dream of that night with Sakura. "Tim's been rewound, setting me down at a turning point." Axis of time! Keeps drinking up water. Sponge? NO season. Branches again. Crow squawks. Can't see the bird or sky. She is asleep. Is it his soul visiting her? He's touching her, though. Crow warns him again? Is it like he is "flying" to visit Sakura?
Hollows of time? "In a hollow inside me." Eyes faceless being. Breaks out of its shell. What does it mean?

The prophecy. Raping Sakura, his "sister". Went into her dream without permission. But it is too late because he decided that it is? Now he understands what? Shell is gone? Dark shadow. Hands sticky with what appears to be blood. Reminds me of Lady Macbeth. Lost within time. Far too dark. Both inside and out. I don't understand the meaning of all of this.


The part where Hoshino reads about Beethoven really interests me. "...for all humans have physical and emotional limits, and by this time the composer had more than reached his."

"Smiling, Miss Saeki nodded. 'You're quite right, it does. No matter how much money you accumulate, you can't buy time.'"

She's like an empty shell. She's physically there, but her soul, her essence, is elsewhere. Not with reality. Nakata wants to talk about the entrance stone with Miss Saeki. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. Nakata is so unpredictable sometimes.

Kafka on the Shore #26

Chapter 35- Chapter 36:

Oshima is wearing navy blue converse. Kafka wears a navy blue cap and blue sunglasses. Maybe... only those who are not connected to reality wear blue?

How come Nakata and Kafka both did the same things at the same time? Same direction. Went to Takamatsu. Were they drawn to the entrance stone? Or other half?

Oshima somehow knows that Kafka is sleeping with Miss Saeki. But she's dying. Lost the will to live. Like the presidents or people in history who lost the will to live. It reminds me of that stuff.

"It's just that very quietly, very steadily, she's heading toward death. Or else death is heading toward her."

"Like a train heading towards the station?" Kafka is the train...He is bringing about her death. Why? I don't get it. The dreams and responsibilities thing again.

Then this wind metaphor that I don't understand. "Our lives are just shadows of that guiding principle." Our life? Our souls? JUST LISTEN. I don't get it.

Colonel Sanders is just a concept. He can make Hoshino's phone ring without it being on or knowing his number. I don't really understand what he is though. A concept?

The entrance stone flipped over and opened when lightning was flashing. I think lightning is the key. But Hoshino has to close it later? "Things that are open have to be shut." Reminds me of Miss Saeki and her door.

I like the language used when Hoshino "roused him to the land of the living".

So just like that, the stone is no longer heavy? WHY?

Wow. I just had a crazy idea. Nakata sounds just like Colonel Sanders. CS knows what Nakata knows. He only shows up when Nakata is sleeping. Are they the same person? Is he the other half of Nakata's shadow? The one he lost when he was a young boy in whatever prefecture he used to live in?!

"You wouldn't feel so calm if there was a 7-Eleven over there, or a Seiyu department store, would you? Or a pachinko place over there, or a Yoshikawa pawnshop? But as far as the eye can see there's nothing- which is pretty darn nice."

What happened because the entrance stone opened up? What changed? "Waiting for it to finish happening."

Kafka on the Shore #25

Chapter 34:

A crow... Since it rained, is the world a new place?

"But the more he thought about himself, the less reality his existence seemed to have. He began to feel like some meaningless appendage sitting there."

 The thing about geniuses. And how not everyone should be one. It makes sense to. Not everyone can be a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Some people have to do other things like work at Safeway... Like econ!

"Living turned me into nothing." Weird. This emptiness. I feel it too, sometimes. When there is no goal or purpose in life, you start to feel empty. This book makes me think so much about life. Sometimes I stop reading and reread the same passage over and over again because I don't understand what it is saying. But all I end up with are more questions and no answers. Oh well.

Hoshino is going to follow Nakata though. Did he find his purpose? I think Hoshino is on a quest, too.
Quester: Hoshino.
Destination: Takamatsu
Reason: Help Nakata find this entrance stone.
Obstacles: Colonel Sanders, morals, job.
Real reason: Learned about who he is, about his life, to live again.

Kafka on the Shore #24

Chapter 33:

Remember: If they have sex, it's not about sex. So what is it about? Is Miss Saeki his mother? Then Oedipus. Consumed by fate? can't escape? Not free? Don't want to be free? If you're free, are you alone? People prefer to not be free?

This book is like life. It makes me ask so many questions but I don't get a lot of answers. I just don't understand it too well.

"The people who build high, strong fences are the ones who survive the best. You deny that reality only at the risk of being driven into the wilderness yourself."

It's interesting how Miss Saeki wrote a book about people being struck by lightning and how Nakata can predict it. Are these things related? I mean... do they mean something?

Flow of water. Powerful. "Make up for lost time in order to keep on living." Is Kafka on the Shore (Old Kafka) Kafka Tamura's other half?
Shore and Crow. Lover and her son?

It's no longer first person. Kafka is talking about himself, yet he is someone else. Is it Kafka on the Shore or Kafka Tamura having sex with Miss Saeki? Or both?

Kafka on the Shore #23

Chapter 32:

Nakata is predicting lightning again. The cat doesn't understand him. He is taking his time. So much talk about time. Time.

The stone reminds me of the Holy Grail but it's not that.

Rain=catharsis? But they are not getting wet. So, the world around them is changing? But they are not?

Nakata- empty inside. like a shell with no essence. The half a shadow thing again. Who is his "other half"? Needs to deal with the Johnnie Walker situation.
Then he left and came back? Empty. Anyone can come in. He is empty. So he can be taken over like when he stabbed Johnnie Walker. He isn't in control. Johnnie Walker made him do these things? Did Nakata kill the cats? Did his soul kill the cats? "He made me shed blood." But the blood didn't stick to his hands. Not very like Lady Macbeth at all. I wish I knew more about that story. But I do not...

"We had to cross a big bridge. It wouldn't have worked in Nakano Ward." So is this a bridge connecting dreams and reality?

How come the stone can no longer be moved? Hoshino moved it a first despite Nakata saying only he can move it. But now it's like they have to open the entrance stone there or they won't be able to move it.

Nakata claims to not know what to do. But at the same time he tells Hoshino that he has to flip it over. Then the entrance opened up. IF HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING, WHY DOES HE END UP DOING THE RIGHT THINGS? "It better have opened up. Otherwise I killed myself for nothing."

Kafka on the Shore #22

Chapter 31:

Clouds. Birds are quiet. Miss Saeki isn't wearing blue today. "Can't choose where you're born, but where you die you can- to some degree."

This is so weird. Why would Kafka tell Miss Saeki that he wants to sleep with her? Why would he ask her to sleep with him if he thinks she is his mother? The age difference is so strange.

"Close the door when you leave." Metaphorical meaning? Like the door to the room that used to be open. She is telling him to close that door into her dream world when he leaves? The Kafka then that she loved and the Kafka Tamura who is standing in front of her now. Maybe she is telling Old Kafka to close that door when he leaves. When he died. Will he ever leave her spiritual world? Is he even there still? Are the Kafkas the same?

"In the eye of the storm." so chaos is all around them?

Oshima feels sad "when the moon turns blue, when birds fly south."

"A fond, old, faraway room." Like what Miss Saeki said about the two chords. The door is closed now...

Why does Kafka repeat exactly what Oshima said about the Spanish Civil War? What does it mean?

"I put my arm around her. You put your arm around her. "

Old Kafka took over Kafka Tamura?

Hollow of time. Volcanic lake metaphor again. This time he hears the engine.

"Far away a crow caws." Crows... seem important. They remind me of Edgar Allen Poe. Dark. Black. Reminds me of death. Loneliness. I don't really know what they symbolize though.

Kafka on the Shore #21

Chapter 30:

Why Colonel Sanders? He has no name or shape. Interesting. So Johnnie Walker is the name of an alcoholic beverage. I think he symbolizes delusion and sluggishness. Or delayed actions. Colonel Sanders. KFC/fast food. Symbolizing consumption? Or capitalism? Or indulgence? "Consummate the function I've been given to perform." What does that mean?
He is not a person. He makes sure time stays in order. Needs substance to perform an action. He is trading sex for substance?
He has a different way of perceiving religion. "What is God?" Like a referee? I like the example about how MacArthur came to Japan and made the divine emperor say that he isn't God and then that was that. "God only exists in people's minds."

"Listen, every object's in flux. The Earth, time, concepts, love, life, faith, justice, evil- they're all fluid and in transition. They don't stay in one form or in one place forever. The whole universe is like some big FedEx box."

Is that like how our morals don't stay the same? Like how it used to be okay to have slaves but now our society shuns that.

"What Chekhov was getting at is this: necessity is an independent concept. It has a different structure from logic, morals, or meaning. Its function lies entirely in the role it plays. What doesn't play a role shouldn't exist. What necessity requires does need to exist."

I don't understand it that much, but it seems important. 

The stone is like Chekhov's pistol. It will have a role depending on the situation? It is important. But not holy or sacred. I don't really get it.

Navy blue cloth.

The stone is very heavy. Like a burden?

Kafka on the Shore #20

Chapter 28- Chapter 29:

Why is "doing the deed" important?

"The pure present i an ungraspable advance of the past devouring the future. In truth, all sensation is already memory."

I think it's unexpected how the prostitute is educated. I don't understand a lot of the philosophical things that she talks about. It is mostly about the self and identity. I don't understand it at all. 

Is Sakura Kafka's connection to reality? Miss Saeki is in a dream world. And is Oshima really connected to reality? I don't know.

"You know, when kids your age fall in love they tend to get a little spacey, so if the person you're in love with isn't connected to reality, that's a major problem."

This next part made me feel so scared. I was reading this late at night in the dark... It is the part about how Kafka realizes that the ghost girl isn't the same girl and his heart is pounding and the "silhouette in the chair starts to move, slowly changing its angle like some massive ship changing course. She takes her head out of her hands and turns in my direction."  First, it reminds me of horror movies. I mean, she TAKES HER HEAD OUT OF HER HANDS. That wording is creepy. And she looks straight at him when his heart is pounding. There is so much suspense. But... it is just the present Miss Saeki.

What is this axis of time? Reality and dreams are all mixed up. Just like Johnnie Walker and Kafka's dad. I'm still not sure if they are the same person or not. Navy blue again.

This is weird. Kafka is in reality but sees Miss Saeki in her dream self. She thinks he is her boyfriend? "sucked into a time warp". The boy named Crow is back. Does he represent Kafka's desires and fantasies? Or does he voice his inner most thoughts? The words he can't come up with by himself? Why? There is the whole thing about dreams and responsibilities again. Delicate and dangerous.

And the thing about where his seed goes.... To me, that has double meaning. Like where his "seed" as in sperm goes. Or his fantasies. His dreams. His thoughts... that seed. Yes.

"The wind blows clouds over, then scatters them away. The branches of the dogwood quiver, and countless knives flash in the darkness. The window is my heart's window, the door my soul's door. I lie there awake until dawn, gazing at the empty chair."

Kafka on the Shore #19

Chapter 27:

Kafka never seems to see the ghost girl the moment she appears. TRIANGLE. Like the 3D world thing. "One side of the triangle collapses". That's like how the boundary between their worlds is breaking down. She notices him in a way.

Violent incidents. Not acting like himself. Doesn't know that he does it. Then the boy named Crow. Is he the other spirit/half?

Oshima is wearing navy blue chinos.

I think it's interesting how Oshima and Kafka are talking about how bodies are containers. I usually think of the body and soul as one, making up who you are. I don't really like thinking about that, but it makes sense. That's why their souls can leave in the first place. Then the thing about how it's easier to think about it in reverse. So that the outer is the essence and the essence is the shell. It's difficult.

All that blood. Lady Macbeth?

I think the bird metaphor is interesting too. Is Miss Saeki on a branch right now? Shifting her head... I don't know.

"But you know, she's right. Every single day, each time I see her face, see her, it's utterly precious."

The boundary between 15 year old Miss Saeki and the 50-something year old Miss Saeki has started to waver, to fade... Like the branch and the tree. Is it because he said her name that the triangle fell?

Kafka on the Shore #18

Chapter 26:

"Dead for three weeks once." How do you even come back? Is Nakata talking about his coma?

Floating minds...

So Nakata has known about this entrance stone for a while and only he can move it. Isn't that weird. Does Miss Saeki know about it too? Have their souls met?

QUEST!
- Quester: Nakata
- Destination: Takamatsu
- Reason: Find the entrance stone.
- Challenges and trials: Doesn't know what it looks like. Don't know where it is.
- Real reason: I don't know. Self knowledge?

It's weird how Nakata can predict the thunder. He can make it thunder? Reminds me of "Man doesn't choose fate. Fate chooses man" thing.

Colonel Sanders. First thought: KFC?! Second thought: White=purity. Third thought: Is it Johnnie Walker? Oh. No it isn't.
Why is Colonel Sanders a pimp? A warp? What warp? 3D...Triangle?
This weird Colonel Sanders pimp knows that Hoshino is looking for the entrance stone. How does he know? "written all over your face." He apparently knows what it is, too. But why does Hoshino have to have sex with a prostitute before Colonel Sanders will tell him where the stone is? Weird trade-off.

Kafka on the Shore #17

Chapter 25:

There's the "Out of the blue" comment again. I don't know if it matters.

The ghost is Miss Saeki's long, deep dream? How come she can hear Kafka's heart? He can see her but she can't see him. They are "divided by an invisible boundary." Both in love with someone who is no longer of this world. Who does Kafka love?

The birds make noise, waking Kafka up. So they are freeing him from the dream world?

So... Kafka is in love with Miss Saeki. But she is a "living spirit"? In a way? Not in a evil way, though. And she loves a dead boy. Kafka is caught up in their spiritual world and feels so jealous.

About Miss Saeki... Oshima says, "She captured words in a dream, like delicately catching hold of a butterfly's wings as it flutters around." Miss Saeki wrote Kafka on the Shore based on her dream? In a spiritual world?

If Miss Saeki is Kafka's mother. Is it a connection or coincidence or fate that Kafka chose his name to be Kafka? In love with his mother= OEDIPUS.

Why is Kafka legally an illegitimate child? Oxymoronic!

There is so much talk about shadows.

Miss Saeki is always wearing blue or something like that. What does blue mean? Why don't I ever know?

"Entrance that would take me to that other world." Is that what Nakata is looking for? Is Miss Saeki talking about this entrance stone?

What does the lightning mean? A book about lightning? Never concluded. Interesting. That makes me think about how we ask an endless amount of questions about life, yet we never really get complete answers. Just more questions. But that's just how it is.

Something knocking on a door in Kafka's head. What does that mean?


Kafka's father was struck by lightning. And Miss Saeki wrote a book about lightning. Interviewing people. Could she really be Kafka's mom? Does lightning have to do with the entrance stone? Does it open it up? Or...what?

Kafka on the Shore #16

Chapter 24:

So is Hoshino the "other half" of Nakata? Is Miss Saeki Kafka's "other half"? Probably not, but it's just a thought.

Why is Nakata sleeping so much? Is his soul traveling around? Did it mean anything? Or was it just so we could learn about Hoshino? But that isn't necessary...

I think it's weird how Nakata "straddles" Hoshino and how they are comfortable with it. Different cultures? Or is it just me? It is also interesting how Nakata can predict how Hoshino's life will be like just by touching his back. And he can fix it? Like altering fate? "The problem was all in the spine." <-- Seems like this quote has a deeper meaning.

So what is this entrance stone?

Kafka on the Shore #15

Chapter 23

The ghost "isn't something of this world". There's the blue dress again. Lots of moonlight. "Maybe she's not looking at me but beyond me." I like the volcano metaphor. She made Kafka's heart pound. Why did he cry?

Then Miss Saeki with her blue dress. She is the ghost? But the ghost is her from long ago. Miss Saeki has lost her energy.

"While they're still alive, people can become ghosts."

Kafka is attracted to the 15 year old Miss Saeki. Is he her other half?

Interesting. Before Edison invented electricity, physical darkness outside and the inner darkness of the soul were mixed together. No boundaries. But now is the sea and the shore like the physical darkness and the darkness of the soul? Is there a boundary now? I'm confused. I don't know.

So... living spirits all spring up out of negative emotions? There's a difference between a living spirit and people who throw their lives away for honor, love, or friendship, turning into spirits.

Edge of the world... spiritual world?
Crater... volcano again.
Shadow... The other half.
Fish rain down... like Nakata.
Soldiers... WWII.
Knife... God splitting people. "And how mindless violence severed that love forever".
But Kafka sees the Sphinx as the enemy Oedipus defeated. And the "shadow becomes a knife that pierces your dreams" is his father's stabbing. I never thought of it like that. It sounds like Miss Saeki's song is a prophecy.

Kafka on the Shore #14

Chapter 22

 Does the umbrella symbolize anything? Nakata wants to carry it around everywhere.

It seems like when Nakata gained the ability to speak to cats, he lost his ability to speak to people. In a way. He doesn't really know a lot of words and can't relate or understand a lot of things people say.

Nakata doesn't seem to really feel anything. There's that thing about his shadow being paler than other people's shadows again. He isn't complete. Who is his other half?

What does the sea symbolize? It must symbolize something. I wonder if it's like the spiritual world. It must be important because the title has to do with the shore, which is next to the sea. The sea is dark, mysterious, violent, yet peaceful, seems to go on forever... It could be symbolizing the world where the souls go to meet up with each other. It's a mystery and seems endless. But it connects everyone.

Kafka on the Shore #13

Chapter 21:

The sculptor's name is Koichi Tamura. Really weird. Kafka's father? Not Johnnie Walker? Is Koichi Tamura really Johnnie Walker? But it's weird. No fingerprints. There were no cats though. No cat heads or hearts. So he is not Johnnie Walker? Johnnie Walker doesn't exist? But then did Nakata kill Kafka's father? A sculptor? I am so confused. Koichi's art's theme was the human subconscious. I wonder how Kafka feels about all this. What about the blood from the day that Kafka lost his consciousness? The butterfly shaped blood. His father was murdered that same night.

Kafka's story is like Oedipus. "There's irony involved".

"Man doesn't choose fate. Fate chooses man."

People are drawn into tragedies by their virtues...

The fish, leeches, and millipedes only fell when there were no clouds in the sky. It reminds me of the locust plagues.

So Kafka's dad said, "Someday you will murder your father and be with your mother and sister." Is the prophecy true? Did Kafka leave his body and kill his father? Nakata did say he didn't feel like himself anymore. What if Kafka took over Nakata's body. So is Nakata Kafka's other half?

Why would Kafka's father do a DNA test? To show Kafka that they are really blood related? So that he would know unlike Oedipus? He can't escape fate. "Distance won't solve anything".

"That's the night I see a ghost." Is it his father's ghost? Reminds me of Hamlet.

I'm a bit confused. If Kafka took over Nakata's body, is Johnnie Walker the sculptor? But why is he naked? And where are the cats? Or are they different people? And both Nakata AND Kafka stabbed men in the chest. But then where is Johnnie Walker's body?

Kafka on the Shore #12

Chapter 20:

Is Nakata on a quest?

It's weird how Mr. Hagita believes Nakata about the cats. I wouldn't have believed him. Communion- they eat together.

Nakata predicted it again. It was a cloudless night...but leeches fell from the sky. "Eel=knife=Johnnie Walker?" Weird connections.

When Nakata was younger, he lived in Yamanashi prefecture before WWII. During WWII, millipedes frell from the sky there just like the fish and leeches fall from the sky wherever Nakata is. What does it mean?

Kafka on the Shore #11

Chapter 19:

In Kafka's new room in the library, there is a painting of a boy by the shore. Kafka on the Shore. The black German Shepherd reminds me of Johnnie Walker. The young boy could be the young man Miss Saeki loved.

"I try imagining myself in forty years, but it's like trying to picture what lies beyond the universe."

Miss Saeki wears a navy blue dress. The BLUE again! 

Equality between men and women. What is this lady's point? I don't know why she is nitpicking on everything. Maybe the author used this as a way to introduce how Oshima is a woman. But her mind is a man. He is female, but gay. Identity crisis. I love how Kafka is accepting of Oshima and doesn't change his view of him.

"Only people who've been discriminated against can really know how much it hurts."

Kafka on the Shore #10

Chapter 18

Why can't Nakata speak to the cats anymore? It's like his "cat soul" left his body when he lost consciousness and wasn't aware of how he got outside. Why isn't he covered in blood? There is no blood on Mimi, either. How? She was soaked in a pool of blood. It couldn't have been a dream, right? Nakata's story sounds so crazy and not plausible. Dreams or reality? I can't tell anymore.

Wait, "bring an umbrella"? Then... fish fell from the sky. A prophecy? How does Nakata know all of this? What could it possibly mean? "Fresh and good to eat."

A sculptor is stabbed to death with steak knife. Found naked. The policeman shirked his duty. Now he's pretending it never happened. And Nakata leaves town.... Is the sculptor Johnnie Walker? Why is Johnnie Walker an alcoholic beverage? OH. Is it because... it causes people to be delusional and now we are not sure whether this cat man is real or a dream?

Kafka on the Shore #9

Chapter 17

The stars. I think they represent everyone in the world. They are identical, yet each give their own special light. Kafka can feel so alone with so many stars just like he feels so alone with so many people. The stars are "watching" him.

"Follow the rules"- Why are there so many rules in order to live?

Kafka is able to float in the air. Reminds me of birds and flight. He feels free. Is it like the soul leaving the body? There is a lot of talk about souls.

"But nature is kind of unnatural, in a way. And relaxation can actually be threatening. It takes experience and preparation to really live with those contradictions."

Sometimes Oshima says the most thought-provoking things.

Kafka is a contradiction. Like a paradox. Ominous prophecy- omen.

I think the story about the curse that Apollo laid on Cassandra is really interesting.

Miss Saeki and that young man... they were born with their other half right in front of them. "Just like God had cut them cleanly apart with a knife." Their story is so sad. The name of the song she sang is "Kafka on the Shore". Is that a coincidence? Kafka chose that name himself. What is the meaning of the name of the song and what is the meaning of the name Kafka chose for himself?

"There's only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shapes and sizes."

Soul moves in mysterious ways. It's like Kafka leaving or the schoolteacher's soul leaving to meet her husband. Their other half. 

Kafka on the Shore #8

Chapter 16

This chapter was so disturbing! Severed cats' heads in a freezer? This Johnnie Walker is a really sick man.I tried to google who he is but I came up with a lot of alcoholic beverages.

 So Goma isn't one of the cats in the freezer, but she will die if Nakata doesn't kill Johnnie Walker. Walker talks about this magical flute of souls. What is this? And he can't do anything else but kill cats? Really? WHY?

After a while, I kind of see Johnnie Walker as Adolf Eichmann. He sees his vision as an ingenious plan, but the whole world sees him as a crazy killer and he can't seem to get out of his mess.

"First you fear me. Then you hate me. And finally you kill me."

Fear me- WWII and the killing of the Holocaust victims/ Walker's disturbing method of torturing and killing the cats.
Hate me- Continuing the Holocaust with no intentions of stopping/ killing more and more cats with no intentions of stopping
Kill me- "terminate me". Execution.

This brings about a question of morals: Is it okay to kill someone if they ask you to do it? If they want to die? If it means they'll stop killing other living things? Does that make it okay for you to kill them?

Oh my god. Then, he rips out the cats' hearts and saws off their heads. "Remember now- it's either I kill the cats or you kill me. There's no other choice." An ultimatum. It reminds me of Saw, although I never watched any of the movies. But, THOSE ARE THE RULES?

It's so disturbing. He eats the still-beating heart. It makes me want to just stop reading this book. He likes eating hearts. The souls? Is that how he gathers them? Why so many rules?

I felt so sad when Johnnie Walker killed Mr. Kawamura. When it first happened, I thought, "WHY? I don't get it!" then... "Oh. Like WWII."

"Closing your eyes isn't going to change anything. Nothing's going to disappear just because you can't see what's going on. In fact, things will be even worse the next time you open your eyes."

Just like WWII. The world turned away and tried to believe the problem would fix itself, but it didn't. This whole chapter seems to be screaming, "DON'T HESITATE TO STOP BAD THINGS! STOP ME. STOP THE NAZIS. STOP THEM." I like that quote. It's a great life lesson.

Oh no. He got Mimi, too. "You're no longer yourself. That's the ticket, Mr. Nakata. Wonderful! The most important thing of all. O, full of scorpions is my mind! Macbeth again."
When Nakata stabs Johnnie Walker, Johnnie Walker laughs. It's so creepy to me. The hearts gushed out of his mouth. Blood flowed silently... just like WWII.

Kafka on the Shore #7

Chapter 15 continued:

Birds woke Kafka up. A huge bird flapped its wings but he couldn't see it. He couldn't see the freedom? I don't know. Sounds important. The sunlight is back, so he doesn't feel lonely and helpless anymore like how he did under the stars.

It's raining. Catharsis. Will Kafka change? "Like a religious initiation". Seems like catharsis. Even though it is dark, he feels free. "Made me feel strangely purified." Later, the sun and the birds com back.

"You might dream about raping your sister, your mother. It's not something you can control. It's a power beyond you-and all you can do is accept it."

Sounds like Oedipus. 

I really like this: "Silence, I discover, is something you can actually hear".

Essay Editing #2: Hamlet

So, today, I worked on my essay from 7-8 PM.
I just added a few words here or there and decided what quotes to put in. For example, I think I will add the "he is dead" quote. And I will add a quote about Polonius and Claudius spying on Hamlet through using Ophelia. For the "dead for a ducat, dead' quote, I have to explain how it shows that Hamlet is killing Polonius because if the reader has not read the play, he or she will not understand what it means. With all this information added on, I think it will be enough to pass the 1000 words easily. Also, I didn't delete much. I mostly replaced words or phrases or added more quotes and explanation of the quotes.

Essay Editing #1: Hamlet

A few days ago, I went over my essay right after I got it back. I decided to add more quotes and to talk about Ophelia's suicide. I also wanted to expand my analysis of the quotes. I deleted some parts, too because I felt like they were unnecessary explanations such as explaining about Claudius' murder or Old Hamlet. I also fixed some grammatical errors.

Kafka on the Shore #6

Chapter 14-Chapter 15

What is Kawamura trying to say? It is usually about something being tied up, so what does that mean?

Nakata describes butterflies and sparrows again. Flight is freedom? I really want to know what the butterflies mean. Is it like the souls? It reminds me of the butterfly effect. That kind of relates to Kafka's thoughts about imagination and what goes on in your head is important. More about that later.

When the dog comes, all the words describing it have a negative connotation. I can just picture what a scary beast it is. I wonder how it can communicate with Nakata. So... the dog leads Nakata to this strange man who calls himself "Johnnie Walker". I don't know who that is, but he is famous. This Johnnie Walker is a fake. Does that describe his personality, too?
"Distorted ripple on the surface of water". <-- Like the pool of water in the beginning of the story.

Random thought: Since some chapters are obviously in first person, Kafka's POV, what are the other ones in? Are they third person or does Kafka know everything? Does it switch off?

Kafka is alone in the forest. There is a lot of talk about birds. So he is alone and feels free? It reminds me of Thoreau and his wilderness stay all alone from the world. Is Kafka running amok yet? It's weird how Kafka is all alone but he feels like there is an army of invisible creatures surrounding him. Like someone watching him. Is this related to the killing machine?

Why is Crow so negative? He's like the depressed half of Kafka, saying self-degrading remarks and criticizing everything.

Even though Kafka is alone, Oshimas has felt the same way, so in that regard, Kafka is not alone. At night, there are no birds, but in the morning there is a lot. It's like light means freedom and good feelings while darkness means loneliness and fear. The birds look for partners, moving in pairs. They are not really alone. Like the God story.

I think the Adolf Eichmann story is amazing. It speaks out to me in a way that I can't really describe. It all depends on your perspective. He is both a genius and a madman. So sick and twisted, yet so interesting.

"'It doesn't matter whose dream it started out as, you have the same dream. So you're responsible for whatever happens in the dream. That dream crept inside you, right down the dark corridor of your soul.'
Just like Adolf  Eichmann, caught up-whether he liked it or not- in the twisted dreams of a man named Hitler."

 Then, Kafka says,

"But she got it wrong. What I imagine is perhaps very important. For the entire world."

Just like Eichmann. His imagination has responsibility. I don't even know how to explain what I think about when I read this, but I think it's so deep and meaningful. I shall finish chapter 15 later.

Kafka on the Shore #5

Chapter 12- Chapter 13

I thought the school teacher's letter to the Professor was pretty weird and unexpected. It certainly makes Nakata's situation more peculiar.I don't understand why her soul was able to leave her body and have sex with her husband. I wonder what it symbolizes or means. "When they're writing about other things, they really mean sex, and when they write about sex, they really mean something else." So what does this mean?

She also hits Nakata, and I remember that violence has meaning in literature, but I don't know what this means.
I also think that it is weird how she doesn't sign her name at the end. What is her name, anyway?

So in chapter 13, Oshima shares his sandwich with Kafka. Communion! That means their relationship is growing stronger and they enjoy each other's company.

Then, Kafka mentions how he needs Crow's help in explaining what he wants to articulate to Oshima. I don't know hwy I didn't see this earlier, but Crow is a bird. So, he is a symbol of freedom. He does and says what Kafka wants to do and say, but unlike Crow, Kafka is restricted from doing a lot of things.

After their lunch, Kafka and Oshima head further down South. So, I looked at How to Read Lit again, and it says, "They run amok because they are having direct, raw encounters with the subconscious." Sounds like Kafka, doesn't it?

Oshima has an interesting way of thinking about imperfection when he speaks about Schumann.

"I can feel the limits of what humans are capable of - that a certain type of perfection can only be realized thorugh a limitless accumulation of the imperfect."

There is a repetition of "that isn't an option" for Oshima. Despite his hemophilia, he is very controlling of his own life compared to Kafka who just doesn't know what he is supposed to be doing.

Kafka on the Shore #4

Chapter 8- Chapter 11

When I first started reading chapter 8, this was my thought process:
- What is the point of these wartime gas poisoning reports?
- Hey, Nakata feel sick one day and just woke up "dumb".
- Wasn't there a little boy who didn't wake up for a long time?
- Nakata is that little boy.
It's always nice when your conjectures are correct.

So, the glint of the airplanes could have possibly caused the mass hypnosis. The duralumin? Sakura's earrings are like that. Does that mean Kafka will be hypnotized by it or lose his memory? I think it's interesting how after this chapter, it goes to the scene where Kafka loses his memory of the blood incident. The brain lack.

When Nakata was in the hospital, his cat was with him. Maybe his soul left and spoke to his cat so now he can speak to cats, too?

There are so many references to blue and cream colored objects. And butterflies. Kafka's bloodstain is shaped like a butterfly and Nakata is surrounded by butterflies in the empty lot when he is waiting for that strange man.

I found out that Kafka's sister is "adopted". I don't know if she is really adopted or if she is illegitimate because his mother took his "adopted" sister away and not him, her "biological" son. STRANGE. Speaking of strange, Kafka's relationship with Sakura is very odd. She is extremely intimate with him despite her emphasizing how she has a boyfriend and doesn't want sex. Then, she says it would be nice if they were really brother and sister. However, siblings do not get sexual with each other. At least, not "normal" siblings. REMINDS ME OF OEDIPUS!

Kafka on the Shore #3

Chapter 5 - Chapter 7
Kafka is a really alienated boy. In fact, it seems like he is the one choosing to be alienated. He is reclusive, not shunned from society, except maybe by his father.

Kafka's desire to be alone leads him to the library, where he feels liberated. This is interesting because he describes birds and clouds while in the library. FLIGHT IS FREEDOM. Very interesting, indeed.

"In ancient times people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, or female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing half."

I really like that quote. Oshima says, "Anyway, my point is that it's really hard for people to live their lives alone." However, I see it like how God created people to be either whatever sexuality they are born to be. So, the male/male people will be gay and the male/female people will be straight. It's nice to know that everyone has their other half whom they are looking for.

Miss Saeki's dress is blue. There is also repetition of cream colored things in the library. Important? I don't know.

Kafka mentions how he doesn't dream. Is this significant? What does it mean? Sounds important, at least. He also mentions a "good omen" on page 45. So... is the omen good or bad?

Chapter 6 is where I started thinking, "This story is so weird! But I love it!" Here, we are introduced to Nakata and the anthropomorphic cat who Nakata names "Otsuka". I think it is strange how Otsuka says, "Hmm...so you're able to speak." This throws me off because the reader expects Nakata to say that, not the cat! Cats don't speak, so why is it surprised to know that Nakata can speak. Very strange. Why can the cat speak, anyway? Another note: Nakata only speaks in third person and his language is littered with malapropisms. It makes me laugh. "Theery of fine ants", "depart mint chief", "minis tree of trade and indus tree", and "sub city". The use of malapropisms show me so much about Nakata without him having to say it out loud. I think it's nice how Otsuka doesn't seem to know that "sub city" is actually "subsidy".

One thing that Otsuka said to Nakata caught my attention: "Your problem is that your shadow is a bit- how should I put it? Faint. I thought this the first time I laid eyes on you, that the shadow you cast on the ground is only half as dark as that of ordinary people."
My first reaction: JUST LIKE KAFKA'S SISTER! Remember how in the photograph of Kafka and his sister, his sister's face was half dark and half light? Half in the shadows and whatnot?
My second reaction after reading on to page 52: Oh. Otsuka says that because Nakata's shadow is kind of like half of a whole shadow, he has to go out and find his other half. Just like the story Oshima told Kafka.

On to chapter 7. I'm starting to wonder about who Crow is. I have to admit that I don't even know if Crow is real. Is he Kafka's inner thoughts? He just appears out of nowhere. Where is he staying? Maybe I missed some information.

So another day at the library. Oshima is wearing blue. Important? He also seems very organized; not chaotic at all with his clean unwrinkled shirt, perfectly sharpened yellow pencils, etc. Seems to contrast Kafka and his internal turmoil.

I think it's weird how Kafka's world is so strange (talking cats), yet he thinks the stories he reads have strange worlds. At the same time, it's weird how Kafka thinks the worlds in the stories are more real to him than his own crazy world. It's so confusing to think about. But I like it.

Apparently, Kafka's name is taken from one of his favorite authors. Why? And this killing device being all around him...what does it mean?

Kafka went down south. So, he went down south to "run amok", right? But for a while, his routine was all the same. He is also very disciplined, so how is he "running amok"? HOWEVER, at the end of chapter 7, he says, "But on the evening of the eighth day- as had to happen sooner or later- this simple, centripetal life is blown to bits." This reminds me of the creation story. How God created the world in 7 days. I forgot what else I wanted to say about this topic. Maybe next time.

Kafka on the Shore #2

The Boy Named Crow-Chapter 4

The novel starts off with the boy named Crow. First of all, why is he always "the boy named Crow" and not just Crow? Does his name have any significant meaning? A bird? Flight? Freedom? Leading Kafka to freedom or no? Then, there is the repetition of the phrases "for the time being" and "when the time comes". Here, there is a mention of time, so time is probably important, too. And that was just the first page of the story.

Next, the color blue. The blue tattoo, the blue sunglasses, the blue swim trunks, and the blue sky. Blue is mentioned more than once when referring to Kafka, so I'll keep track of that when I read the story.

I find it interesting how Kafka describes his sister in the picture with him. She is visually split in half, part light, part dark. "Hope and despair. Laughter and sadness." She seems mysterious. It's like Kafka only knows part of her, the childhood sister, but not who she is now. That part is a mystery.

Then the water. So much water. So much rain. He describes his heart as a flood. What does that mean? Does he desire catharsis? To become new again? And his trip down south- run amok? In doing so, Kafka is going to break out of the norm. On his trip, it begins to rain. It is also his fifteenth birthday. He is a new person starting a new life, even taking on the false name of Kafka. I don't even know what his real name is.

On page 11, Kafka talks about his parents. He says, "I could probably kill [my father] if I wanted to". That screams Oedipal complex to me! And he runs away from home?! More Oedipus related things! He meets this girl, Sakura, who might be his sister, but he is still strongly attracted to her. Incest? Oedipus? Similar. And about Sakura. When they speak, he mentions her earrings a lot and mentions how they "sparkle like duralumin". I don't know why the duralumin is important, but it was mentioned in the Japanese teacher's story. And apparently, Sakura's ears are like mushrooms; it reminds me of the children picking the mushrooms and then falling unconscious.

What is this omen?! Why is it mentioned over and over?

There are so many things that I am trying to notice, but I don't know what is important or not.

Kafka on the Shore #1

I got my book today in the mail. This first entry will be about my initial thoughts on what reading this book will be like based on my research of it.

The first time I heard of Kafka on the Shore was in freshman year, when some of my friends were talking about it after they read it for English. I don't remember what was said, but I remember that they loved it. 

I guess the biggest reason why I am drawn to this book is what it says on the back cover: "...either to escape a gruesome oedipal prophecy or to search for his long-missing mother and sister". I want to read about Kafka's "oedipal prophecy". I wonder what it could be...

Anyway, it seems like it could be a long read, so I will hopefully start tonight.

The Kite Runner #3

I finished The Kite Runner last night. It was another compelling read; I could not take my eyes off the book. This novel makes me think about the book, Atonement. The way the author described everything made me question whether it was a true story or not. Everything seemed so believable and to me, that makes a great story. It was one of those books that made me keep hoping that a character wasn't really dead even when he was.

The novel had so many surprises. For example, I had to read the part about Baba being Hassan's father twice in order to understand what had just happened.

This book, like Snow and What is the What, taught me about other countries that I didn't know about. It depicts the truth in war-torn countries; the descriptions of bombings and killings were so realistic. After all this summer reading, I've learned more about the people in the world and about their culture and customs.

When Assef and Amir met again, I was freaking out. Specifically, when "John Lennon" asked, "Whatever happened to old Babalu anyway?" It was such a shocker. My favorite part was when Sohrab used his slingshot and hit Assef's eye out. So in the end, Assef really became one-eyed Assef just like Hassan promised.

The Kite Runner #2

After reading further in The Kite Runner, I discovered that Amir and Hassan's relationship isn't really that of true friendship; at least, not in Amir's point of view. Amir is ashamed to be Hassan's friend, a Hazara's friend. When Assef and his comrades torment Hassan and rape him, Amir just watches, choosing to flee to protect himself over his loyal friend. Hassan has some God-like qualities: He is self-sacrificing, doing everything in his power to please his dearest friend, Amir. During the kite contest, when he is running a kite, he waits, arms outstretched while the kite flies into his outstretched arms.

Despite Hassan's undying devotion, Amir isn't as loyal as he should be. I think Amir is still partly influenced by the Hazara vs. Pashtun/ Shi'a vs. Sunni conflict, especially when Hassan does something better than him. Amir cannot be outshined by his servant, a Hazara! It is a bit childish, but that's what makes the story so believable.

Another reason why Amir cannot be true friends with Hassan is because he sees Hassan as an obstacle to his father's love. All his life, Amir has felt guilty for his mother's death; he thinks he killed his mother. With that mindset, he also believes that his father wants him dead since their relationship is already so rocky and distant. Once, Amir mentioned the story of Rostam and Sorhab. I first read this story in Snow, and Blue said that it is Sorhab's love for his father that kills him. Amir is like Sorhab because he will do anything for his father's love. On page 67, Amir thinks that Rostam and Sorhab will have a happy ending, happily ever after. But in Snow, the version I read, Rostam kills his son in battle. That's why I think that Amir and his father will never be able to have a happy ending.

The Kite Runner #1

I started reading The Kite Runner, but since it is the end of summer and I am on my last book, my pace has dwindled. So, the going is slow for me and I hope to pick it up ASAP!

At first I thought this book might be another bildungsroman, but it might be more than that because it has violent struggles between races/religion/classes.

Both Ali and his son, Hassan are disfigured (Ali has an atrophied leg and Hassan has a cleft lip), so I am wondering if they are "marked for greatness." Even though they are both disfigured, they are very strong people and live life happily, which I admire very much. When Hassan was born, his mother was disgusted by his cleft lip and wouldn't even hold him. This reminds me of East of Eden when Cathy abandons her sons because she didn't love them. It is hard to imagine a mother who doesn't love her children. The lack of motherly figures in this novel might have some importance since the narrator, Amir, is motherless too. His mother died while giving birth to him. Mothers are comforting, loving, gentle, and compassionate. So maybe in Hassan's and Amir's life, they are lacking that component.

The novel also describes the innocence of childhood. Hassan, a Hazara and a Shi'a Muslim, and Amir, a Pashtun and a Sunni Muslim, do not discriminate against each other like the adults do. They are able to foster a wonderful friendship where religion and race do not limit their ability to be friends.

Snow #6

I finally finished reading this book. It was a very difficult read in my opinion.

Ka's death is narrated in chapter twenty-nine. The season fits in with his death since the whole novel focuses on winter time and winter symbolizes death and the end of life. By now, I have concluded that this novel is based on true events, but I do not know how true it is. Like Fazil tells the readers at the end of the book, there is still room for doubt. We will never be able to understand the people of Kars just by reading this book, so I cannot assume that everything is true. Orhan Pamuk is a very honest narrator and I am amazed by how well he investigated his facts.

This book made me think about religion vs. secularism in the US because there are conflicts in the school system here like there is in the novel. There was a part in the novel where a character asked a very interesting question that was sort of like this: Should God's laws interfere with secular matters? Should the government be able to tell women to bare their heads when it is God's laws that say that women should cover their heads?

I also thought a lot about the meaning of silence- especially about the silence of snow. Many times throughout the novel, the silence of snow is mentioned. Maybe it has to do with the silence of God since the snow reminds Ka of God and mortals cannot hear God. At least, that is what I think. Also, at the end of the novel, when Orhan is walking to the train station, the snow is once again silencing the whole city except for his loud breathing. I cannot help but think that Orhan did not find all of the truth like Fazil said since to me, the snow in the story symbolizes fantasies and the masking of reality. And Orhan went to Kars in the winter...thus the truth may never be fully revealed. I don't know. This book was really hard for me to understand.

Snow #5

This novel often mentions the "silence of snow". Once, it even mentions the "silence of ice." I'm trying to figure out the meaning behind these phrases. Snow reminds me of death because it is one of the unifiers of the world- snow falls on all humans, rich or poor, black or white, young or old. It does not discriminate. Death is like snow, too since all living beings will die. 

The night at the theater ended in chaos and Necip's death. I couldn't keep up with who was killing who and for what reasons. From what I can tell, the secularists are in charge of this massacre, mostly under the plans of the man who runs the theater troop. 

"And how beautiful was the falling snow! How large the snowflakes were and how decisive. It was as if they knew their silent procession would continue until the end of time." (p. 174)

In chapter twenty, the author describes the snow as soft. I find this to be contradictory because snow is solidified water, so it should be very hard. It may look soft and welcoming, but if one falls into snow, it  is surprisingly hard. This makes me think about how all the snow in Kars is deceiving the whole city. It is evidently deceiving Ka since I still don't believe that Ipek will just fall in love with him and move to Germany with him.

On page 197, Ka visits the jail and walks through several rooms. In one particular room, he cannot see what is in front of him and calls it the red room. This scene reminds me of Poe's "Masque of the Red Death". But...I do not think there is any correlation between them.

Snow #4

I'm starting to really like Snow. I can see why Orhan Pamuk won the Nobel Prize in Literature.

After Ka's meeting with Blue, he walks outside and thinks that the snowflakes had stopped moving, "as if time itself had stopped." I don't know if this has any significant meaning, but it feels like there is, so I'm still trying to figure it out. It seems like the whole time there is snow, Ka is living in a fantasy world. He comes back to Kars in order to relive his childhood and he mentions fantasies a lot. In his fantasy, he is madly in love with Ipek and she is madly in love with him. He imagines that she is willing to drop everything in order to run away with him to Germany where they will spend the rest of their lives happily married. I think he is being naive. Maybe it's the snow.

Later, not long after Necip and his friends ask Ka questions about religion, he gets an inspiration to write a poem called Snow. I found this very interesting because the newspaper did in fact predict that he would write this poem. That also means that the newspaper will probably be right in him reading the poem at the theater later that evening. The way things are working out makes me feel incredulous. I don't know how any of this is possible, but it seems like there is an air of mystery everywhere in Kars. It adds to the feeling of how the snow is covering the truth and how things are described as a fantasy.

"He had the feeling that simply by watching the snow fall he would be able to bring the poem to its predetermined end. (p. 95)"

I really like this quote from Chapter Ten.  Snow falls during winter time. That symbolizes death and the end of things. So that whole quote has this beautiful symbolic meaning to it.

In Necip's science fiction story, he says "blue snowflakes fall onto the glass roof above them and disappear like planets." Why is it that everyone knows that the snowflakes are blue? I thought snowflakes are white. Or clear, even. I've never heard snow being described as blue. That's why it's a "White Christmas"...

This novel reminds me so much of The Book Thief. By now, I have decided that my previous conjecture about the narrator being Death is incorrect. I will continue to assume that the narrator is simply Ka's dear friend, although he is still unidentified. The narrator of both novels like to tell us things ahead of time. For example, in The Book Thief, Death tells us that Rudy is going to die. Throughout the whole novel, Death says things like "For now, he will survive. But in a few months, Rudy will be..." Something along those lines. So in Snow, the narrator says "With a childishness that amazed Ka, he opened his large green eyes, one of which would be shattered in fifty-one minutes." Based on previous experience, I know that this will happen. However, when I was reading The Book Thief, I did not want to believe Death. I hoped with all my heart that Rudy would live. But he didn't. So the same thing is happening now: I want Necip's eye to be okay even though the narrator keeps telling me that his beautiful eye will be shattered. This disheartens me. But that is what makes these two novels great.

I just got an idea after talking about Necip's ONE eye being shattered. It reminds me of the cyclops and his one eye being stabbed with a spear...or something... by Odysseus.

Snow #3

Muslims and Atheists

How can someone put a curse on another individual to turn them into an Atheist? How can one lose faith in God just by hearing a strange man recite some words from a book? I don't believe in witchcraft and this event just doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't see Atheism as disease, even though some characters in Snow seem to think so. Besides Atheism, they see suicide as a disease. I don't see how suicide can be a disease since it is not a germ. Sure, it can be "contagious" if it means that other girls will want to follow the covered girls by taking their own lives. I'm also curious about why it is just the girls who are committing suicide and not the boys.

What is the connection between being an Atheist and looking down on the life in Kars? Are the Muslims any better because they believe in God? I don't think that covering women is the only way to prevent rape from happening.

I've never understood the conflicts among different religious groups. What is so wrong with loving someone who is an atheist or someone who believes in a different religion than you? I think it's sad how religion has been a big cause for so many massacres in the world.

This novel is bringing up so many questions for me to think about, especially questions about God and suicide. I still don't see why Necip and his friends are connecting suicide with Atheism.

Snow #2

After kind of forcing myself to read the first forty pages of Snow, I finally became interested in the novel. I'm sad to say that I do not understand a lot of what is going on in the story. I can't seem to understand what the "political Islamists" want and what the secularists want. However, I do know that this book can be considered political writing, but I am unsure whether Orhan Pamuk is writing this story based on real life events or if he is just making this up as a metaphor of something else. It sounds very real and convincing, so I guess the suicide girls and the struggle between secularists and religious Muslims are real.

The parts that really bore me are the "history lesson" segments of the novel. It only confuses me more. Often times I end up rereading the same paragraph trying to understand what is going on. Usually I end up without any answers.

I noticed that snow is mentioned A LOT in this book. No surprise here. Usually when snow is mentioned, it is described as thick or full. It reminds me of a blanket. Maybe the snow in Kars is covering up the truth because many people come up to Ka and tell him that people are not telling him the truth. Now I do not know what the truth is anymore. Are the suicide girls dying because of political reasons or because of a broken heart? Is the struggle between the Muslims and the secularists really what they say it is about? Is Blue a terrorist or is he just hiding to save himself from harassment?

Page 65:

"...I'd say, 'Snow reminds Ka of God!' But I'm not sure it would be accurate. What brings me close to God is the silence of snow."

I liked this quote a lot when I read it. Snow is a silent killer, unlike rain. When rain falls, we can hear it, but snow falls and seems to land softly on the earth.

The color blue. Blue is used to describe so many things in this novel. The color of the police car's lights. The color of the snow. Blue is even a character in this novel! When I found out that the man in hiding was named Blue, I freaked. Blue's eyes are even blue. A very dark blue, to be more precise.

What is the meaning of all this blue...? 

Snow #1

Hello again. It's been maybe a week or so and I haven't blogged in a while. I started reading Snow shortly after finishing What is the What, but I am having difficulty immersing myself in this novel. I don't know why I am having such a hard time finding myself interested in it, but if things do not pick up soon, I might ditch this book and read 1984 instead.

Currently, I've read about 30 pages of this book. The information on the back cover interested me and the title made the book seem like it would contain endless amounts of literary symbolism that I would be able to blog about.

As the title suggests, it is winter time and snowing in Kars. I find it interesting how the main character, Ka, has such a similar name to the city where he is visiting. The snow is welcoming and brings Ka great joy at first, but after staying in the city, he soon finds the snow overwhelming, inhospitable, and heavy. I find it quite intriguing that the snowflakes can be seen as thick and heavy. When I imagine snowflakes, I see fluffy and light flakes gently landing on the earth. But that's just me. I have not ever had to endure such harsh conditions before.

Winter suggests old age and retirement. Ka is a middle-aged man and maybe the snow is hinting at his imminent death. Maybe he will die at the end since it is his "friend" who is narrating the story and not him. Speaking of this "friend", I find the narrator to be mysterious and I really want to find out who he or she is. I think the narrator is a man, though, so that is what I will refer to him as from now on. The narrator is speaking of Ka's visit as if it were in the past, so he knows all that will happen to Ka. This narration reminds me of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, my favorite book. The narrator in that book is death itself. It was hard to understand at first, but I became accustomed to how death knew the whole story and would even spoil parts of what would happen to me. In a way, the narrator of Snow reminds me of Death from The Book Thief. And that thought just led me to wonder... What if Death is the narrator in Snow as well? What if...Death is Ka's "friend" because Ka dies in the end?

Would that be a bit too much? You know, to have another book use Death as the narrator? I don't know. It's just a crazy thought and if Death were the narrator, I would enjoy this book a whole lot more.

What is the What #6

Book III:
I finished reading What is the What today. I couldn't stop reading this book- it was such a compelling read. Since I've taken a liking to US History, history lessons have no longer been as boring as they used to be, so I enjoyed reading about the history of Sudan and other countries around it. It helped me understand a lot of my childhood and world events that occurred during that time such as 9/11. All I remember is waking up one morning before school and watching the news with my parents. I knew that planes had crashed and I was amazed at the destruction but I did not comprehend how dangerous it was or how dire the situation was at that time. It was also the first time I realized that airplanes could crash. I realize that is a naive thought, to think that airplanes could never crash, but that is what my third grade mind used to think before September 11.

So many things were explained and revealed in Book III so I could not stop reading. I was always hoping that his friends would live and that they would not die. When Noriyaki died in the car accident, it broke my heart. The way Valentino described his friendship with him made me truly adore him, too. I wanted so much for him to be able to return to his fiance and to finally marry her and rejoin his family. I wanted exactly what Valentino wanted for him so when Valentino was devastated, I was devastated.

I was very happy when Valentino finally received news of his parents. I was so relieved that his mother was alive because I felt a stronger connection to her. I like how she now has a dress that is the color of a "faded yellow, the color of a tired sun." The dress is no longer vibrant and it seems to describe how his mother is tired from the war in Sudan and from all the destruction that tore her family apart. She has toiled for years, waiting to finally live in peace.

After Valentino's trip to the city with his drama group, he describes the ride back like this:

"We flew past all that and back to the howling mess of Kakuma."

Now,  he is flying again just like he was when he was riding on a bicycle or fetching water for Amath. Usually, he feels free when he is "flying" but this time, it seems to be saying that he is no longer going to feel free when he reaches Kakuma again. I like the language the author uses. It creates a melancholy tone.

Near the end of the novel, when Valentino asks his father if he should go to the US or not, I felt like I had a revelation. For me, the meaning of "the What" was revealed. It is very strange. I felt like I knew the meaning of "the What" but looking back, now that I want to blog about it, I cannot explain it with words. It is very mysterious. In a way, "the What" is what the Dinka never chose to fight for. Valentino doesn't want to go to the US because he feels like he can't get what he is fighting for but his father says, "Yes, the What. Right. Get it. This is it." I still can't explain what was on my mind! I guess what I am really trying to say is: this conversation really spoke out to me and I find it to be very meaningful.

I think the author had a strength with appealing to the audience and pulling us into the story of Valentino, the man who feels like no one can hear him. It is strange because even though in the novel, nobody is listening to his story, here we (the audience) are, reading every word of this book, completely enthralled. I think his weakness is in the way he describes history sometimes. At times, it gets to be very confusing and bores me when the history lesson doesn't stop and keeps on going. When the lessons are small, it is fine. Otherwise, I want the lesson to be over and I want him to continue telling me Valentino's story. I am very happy that this book was on the summer reading list because if it were not, I would never have decided to read it. It is just not the kind of book that jumps out at me but I have grown to love it and I have grown to love the characters in the book.

What is the What #5

Pages 288-363:

I feel really bad for Valentino because he still hasn't received any treatment and the woman at the reception is avoiding him. The author describes her hair as being "yellow" instead of "blonde" which is what people usually use to describe hair. I think it is ironic because the past times that yellow has been used to describe something, it gave Valentino happiness, safety, warmth. Instead, the woman makes him lose hope because she chooses to ignore him.

I like the story about the Royal Nieces of Pinyudo. It shows how Valentino is growing up and discovering new things. It also showed the caste systems and the tensions between the different social classes of the camp. It's interesting how even though all of them are poor, they are still discriminating against each other and segregate themselves. I also realized something today. What is the What is a bildungsroman.

On page 314, Valentino compares an MRI to the Last Judgement. I found this passage particularly interesting. It makes a lot of sense, though. Finally, he will get answers for what happened to him.
I dislike what the SPLA is doing, using the boys, their "Seeds", to fight the war for them. They are younger than me, weigh less than a hundred pounds, and aren't building any muscle. How can they be expected to fight against grown men who are many times their size?

"Boys make very poor soldiers. This is the problem."

When Gor brings news about the US invading Kuwait and Iraq, I learn more about history. Even though I know the names and I know the war, I do not know what caused the war or what it was about. I don't even know if it was even really a war. Gor makes it sound like the US was invading to save the Sudanese. But from what I've been reading, oil might also be the reason the US is invading. 

Page 341. It is the second time I am reading about the Ethiopian woman who yells, "Come to me, children! I am your mother!" Frankly, this woman disturbs me. I can't imagine myself pretending to be some children's mother just to shoot them. 

What is the What #4

Pages 240-287:
This is a little past the beginning of Book II of What is the What. I am starting to wonder why the author split the novel into three books. Since Valentino is a very religious man, it might be like the Bible with its many books. But I do not know much about that, so my conjecture could possibly be very wrong.
In this section, Valentino is in the hospital waiting to be treated. He has been waiting so long, I am starting to wonder if it is discrimination that is keeping him from quick treatment. If so, it connects with his feeling of alienation and oppression from racism.

The more Valentino describes Tabitha, the less I like her. I do not know if what Duluma said is true, but Valentino is so blinded by his love and fantasies about her that he does not even stop to ponder if it is true. In some ways, he is still a child. He is innocent and does not see the ugly truth of the world until something hurts him. Maybe he will be hurt by Tabitha since he speaks of having lost her yet the details have not been revealed yet.

When Valentino is in the camp in Pinyudo, he meets a woman who feeds him and holds him in his arms. That paragraph stood out to me. It shows the emotions that he felt while in the refugee camps and I cannot even imagine how I could live on and be strong like him if I lost my family and had no where to call home.

On page 270, Moses reappears. His death was a mistake? I mean, Valentino's story of his death was wrong. It confused me at first. I had to read it twice in order to make sense of what was happening. I thought he was a ghost but instead he was back! Like a resurrection. Like that Shakespeare story that I still cannot remember and am too lazy to look up.

It was nice seeing Moses again in the story especially after the death of William K (which I'm sure is real and not a mistake this time). Hearing his side of the story allowed me to learn about the slavery that took place and the life the slaves led. I admire how he was able to think of a way to get out of being enslaved. I would never have thought of it. I probably would have accepted my fate and only dream of leaving.

I also think it is interesting what the Sudanese think of the white man. Valentino thinks of the white man as resembling a pig, sweating too much and being so hairy. It is interesting to see that he thinks the white man is inferior to him while in other places, the white men look down on colored people. I have never seen this side of racism before (even if Valentino was not being racist; it just seemed like a resemblance to what racism is like).

The story of Saint Rudolph Valentino interested me as well. As I have mentioned many times before, I know practically nothing about any of the religions. Just the bare basics. So of course, I have never heard of this saint before. I just don't understand why he was beheaded if the jailer's daughter was able to see again. If he was responsible for such a miracle, wouldn't his life have been spared? Shouldn't he have been glorified instead of put to death? I just do not understand.

What is the What #3

Pages 135-239:
Valentino describes the situation in Sudan. It is essentially a history lesson and I am intrigued. However, some parts get boring to me because there are just so many names to remember and so many terms for so many different things that I just cannot take it all in. I am not very sure about who is fighting who and why.

"No one is listening. No one is waiting to hear the kicking of a man above. It is unexpected. You have no ears for someone like me." (p.142)

"Is the noise of the world so cacophonous that mine cannot be heard?" (p. 162)

These quotes show the alienation that Valentino feels throughout this novel. The language the author used really stands out to me. It seems as if Valentino is not only silently speaking to his neighbors, but also to the world.

On the top half of page 173, Phil Mays weeps in the car after meeting Valentino for the first time. The emotions help me understand how strongly people felt about the Lost Boys and why they wanted so much to help them. I wonder what makes Phil Mays so sad. Is it because he feels sympathy and compassion towards the Lost Boys or if he knows someone who has experienced something like that before.

On page 194, the author describes William K's arrival as "his resurrection". I find this description interesting and wonder if there are any hidden meanings to it. The resurrection reminds me of that Shakespeare play where a character who was thought to be dead comes back and is alive and well.

"...God is trying to kill with malaria and dysentery and a thousand other things. But no one can kill the man who's not there, correct? So I am a ghost. How can you kill a ghost?" 

I like this quote from the round bellied, hat-wearing man that Valentino meets in the forest after getting running away from suspected danger. His perspective seems to work for him, but what if the helicopters decide to drop bombs above the forests? Or would they decide not to if their targets are not visible? The man describes himself as a ghost and it reminds me of Hamlet when Hamlet speaks to his father's ghost.


On page 206, Valentino gets the chance to ride the man's bike. He described it as being "very much like flight". When Valentino moves very fast and feels the wind on his face, he feels free from his worries. It is like when he runs his fastest to fetch water for Amath.

On page 221, Valentino denies being part of the Red Army. I am confused because I do not really understand what is going on. But here, there are now signs that maybe Dut is not really taking them to Ethiopia to be safe and to be free. He is taking them there to force them to become jaysh al-amar, child soldiers. If he is doing so without the boys' consent, then it seems like he is taking them away from being enslaved by the Arabs and as a result, enslaving them to the army. 

On page 227, Valentino and the Lost Boys he is traveling with finally reach Ethiopia."We are not in Ethiopia, I thought. This is not that place." Suddenly, it is evident that all the stories that Valentino has heard about the wonders of Ethiopia are no longer true. If I were in his shoes, I would probably feel the same way. The way everyone described Ethiopia, it would seem as if once you reached it, you'd be in a whole new world and everything would be different. In order to reach Ethiopia, the boys had to cross a river. Usually when someone is bathed in water or cleansed by it, the individual is transformed. However, Valentino feels the same. It could be irony or it could be showing how his views have been transformed. He finally sees reality.

What is the What #2

Throughout my reading, I have noticed repetitions of these colors:

• Red (sometimes referred to as the color of blood)
• Orange (fires or the color the rebels wear)
• Blue (the blue dog and the woman in the blue dress who is ran down by the murahaleen.
• White (the color the Arabs wear; the boy in the town who towers above Valentino and Deng)
• Yelllow (the dress Valentino's mother wears; the candy the Arab offers Valentino)
• Black (the color of the murahaleen's horses and weapons)

I do not know what these colors mean, but they stand out to me and I have a strong feeling that they have a purpose in the story.

Pages 57-87:
On page 59, Valentino is sitting on top of a horse, towering over his father and Sadiq. He feels so high up- it reminds me of the Greek Gods atop Mt. Olympus. Soon after feeling high and mighty, he is disturbed from his fantasy when the horse bites him, sending him back down to the ground. The novel has repetitive references to being up high and being down to the ground. Sometimes, when Valentino is playing in the market, he is way on the ground and the Arabs come in, voices in the sky, towering over him.

I like the story that Valentino's father tells the Arabs about the creation of the earth. Finally, the title of the novel is explained.It tells me more about the conflicts between the Dinka people and the Arabs. It seems sad how the Dinka see the Arabs as inferior, for they have the "What", and the Arabs see the Dinka as inferior. But now the Arabs are stealing the cattle from the Dinka. Does that mean the Dinka are now left with the "What"?

On page 74, Valentino sees helicopters for the first time and describes them as crickets. This seems reminiscent of the plagues sent by God. The Dinka's land is no longer fertile for it is being burned by the murahaleen. Men, women, and children are all dying and the survivors are left to watch the destruction of the land.

When Moses and William K tell Valentino about the death of Joseph, they both push their fingers into the middle of his throat. I think there is a reason why this action was repeated in the chapter. Once again, I do not know what it is.

Pages 88-134:
The paragraph at the top of page 105 stands out to me. The emotions that the author expresses are very strong. I feel distraught, reading about Amath accepting her fate, especially since I know that she will not end up well in the north. I also relate to Valentino's anger when he watches his friends and neighbors passively stand by, not fighting back. This anger helps him survive and to escape. If I were in his place, I do not know what I would do. Perhaps I would have accepted my fate, even if it is nicer to believe that one would fight against it.

"No one was important enough to fly away from the war, not in those days." (p.108)

 This line in the book stood out to me. It really stresses how dangerous the situation was and how hopeless everyone felt.
On page 114, Valentino describes his connection with children. It is a "Christ-figure quality". He is good with children and enjoys spending time with them. So now I will be trying to look for more qualities.